What I Want is What I Want
by DeadPaperMuteandWhite
Summary: Post-season 9, Cristina and Owen try to figure out what they want with varying degrees of success.
1. To Do List

Owen pulled up in front of his mom's house at 7 am. It was earlier than she expected, but she had always been an early riser, so he knew she would be up. When he had spoken to her the night before, she had not too subtly suggested that maybe he could come by and help her clean up the storm debris from her yard. Owen didn't consider it at first, but then they got word that the ferryboats would be running for the first time since the storm. It was decided that Owen would go help out his mom then take the ferry out to the Shepherd property to get supplies for them from their house and for him from the trailer. He would also be able to survey the damage and make sure everything was in good shape for them before they made the trip there with their new baby. Owen didn't really want to want to leave the hospital. It had been just three days since the storm, and while most everything was up and running, there was still clean up to be done. He finally decided to go because he would only be gone a few hours and Avery promised to let him know immediately if anything needed his attention.

Owen got out of his truck and walked around the outside of his mom's house to survey the damage. There were small branches and clusters of leaves all over the ground. There were several broken limbs hanging from the trees that would need to be cut down. There was a young fruit tree that his mom had planted in the backyard that had been nearly uprooted. Owen wasn't sure if it would survive. Luckily, the house itself looked unharmed. His mom had a new roof put on the previous year and it had held up nicely. It was an hour's worth of work, maybe a little more. Perfect because he wanted to be back to the hospital by noon.

As Owen approached the back door, he could see his mom sitting in her armchair with her back to the window reading the paper and drinking a cup of coffee. When he gently wrapped on the back door, she turned her face toward him and the morning sunlight made her blue eyes glow like hot coals. "Owen!" he saw, but didn't hear her say. He used his key to unlock the door and come inside. She met him at the door and gave him a big hug. As she pulled back, she held onto his shoulders and examined his face critically. "You're early. I didn't get a chance to make breakfast yet."

"I'll have time to eat before I leave. I just have some other things to take care of this morning, so I wanted to get an early start."

"Mm-hmm," she said as she finally released him. "I hope a nap is on that to-do list of yours. You look exhausted, honey. I know it's been a rough couple of days, but-"

Owen interrupted her with a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see what I have time for. I'll get started outside while you make breakfast."

Ruth Hunt shook her head. "Come on and get a cup of coffee to take out there with you." Owen followed her into the kitchen. "- and don't think I'm not wise to your plan."

"What?" he asked, knowing full well what she meant.

"I said I wanted you to help me clean up the yard, not do it all yourself."

"There will be plenty left to do after we eat," he said with his best dutiful son smile.

"Mm-hmm."

Owen got about 25 minutes worth of work in before his mom called him in for breakfast. He got all of the most strenuous tasks out of the way. He knew if she were out there when he did them she would insist on helping him and while she was in excellent shape for her age, he didn't want to risk her getting hurt. His plan to keep her out of the way for a while had worked.

When Owen stepped into the house after his mom called him for breakfast, the smell of the food made him realize how hungry he was. Normally he would balk at the vast amount of food she had laid out for him- scrambled eggs, waffles, bacon, hash browns, biscuits with sausage gravy, fruit salad, juice and some muffins, but as he slowly approached the kitchen table he had no doubt he could eat it all. His mom glanced at the rapturous expression on his face and was taken aback. "Oh, honey, when was the last time you ate?"

Owen slowly eased himself into his chair and stared at his plate. He didn't know where to start. He closed his eyes and thought for a moment. "An apple. At about 3 o'clock yesterday afternoon." He opened up his eyes, picked up his fork and dug into his scrambled eggs. His mom just sat and watched him shovel the food in his mouth while she waited for her oatmeal to cook. After about 5 minutes, Owen slowed down his pace. He didn't feel light-headed anymore and his mom's staring was slightly disturbing. He set down his fork, took a drink of his orange juice, and then smiled at her. "Everything is really great, Mom. Thank you."

She smiled back. "Thank you for helping with the yard."

"My pleasure," he replied. "So, how have you been?"

That was all the encouragement Ruth needed to start talking. She covered all the happenings at her church (the new pastor was making waves), the latest gossip from their extended family (his cousin was on wife number four), a rundown of the other various clubs and meetings she went to (Bunco club was on the second Friday of the month instead of the third, now). She peppered her monologue with the odd complaint about her various aches and pains. Owen smiled and nodded and asked her questions as she talked. He was just finishing eating when she turned the tables on him.

"So, how have things been going with you, honey?"

Owen smiled, then started his own monologue. "Well, there was this little storm, recently…" He told all about the damage the storm had done and what a nightmare it had been transferring all the patients. He told her about the bus explosion, (but failed to mention he had been inside it moments before it happened). He talked about where they were on the clean up effort and found that his fingers were itching to grab his phone and check his messages-something he normally never did when sharing a meal with someone. When he finished talking his mom smiled at him. He smiled back at her.

"Is anything else on your mind, Owen?"

Owen thought for a second. "Yes! You remember Richard Webber?"

"The former chief of surgery?"

"Yes. Well, he got electrocuted when he went down to the basement to check on the back-up generator."

"Oh my goodness!"

"Yeah, we're still not sure if he's going to make it. That's been really tough on the staff."

"I'll be sure to put in a prayer request for him."

"Thanks, Mom."

"Do you want another waffle honey?"

Owen had eaten everything she had put in front of him. He leaned back in his chair and patted his stomach. "I don't know, Mom, I'm not sure-"

"Nope! 'Not sure' means 'yes' when it comes to food. Just wait, I'll make one for you." She snatched his plate and got up and took the waffle batter out of the refrigerator and poured some into the waffle iron. Owen couldn't protest, because those waffles were damn good.

Ruth stood at the counter while she waited for the waffle to cook. After a few moments she said, "I think something besides the storm and Dr. Webber is on your mind."

Owen sat up straighter in his chair. "I don't-"

"Stop it, Owen, I can tell," Ruth said, giving him a sharp look out of the corner of her eye.

Owen slumped back in his chair. He had carefully avoided the topic of Cristina all morning. Suddenly, he realized his mom had done the same. Usually, Cristina was the first thing she asked him about when they saw each other. He sighed. "How can you always tell?'

"I can see it in your eyes and your face and the whole way you carry yourself." She used a fork remove the waffle from the iron and dropped it on his plate. She set it in front of him and then sat down. "Besides, it is not the first time." Owen stared at his hands. She continued, "I can tell you two are going through a rough patch, but I don't know how rough." Owen sighed and shook his head. Ruth leaned forward and studied his face. "She broke up with you." Owen rubbed his eyes. Now that he wasn't hungry, anymore, it struck him how tired he was.

He never went into detail when he told his mom about the things he and Cristina were going through in their relationship, and this time would not be different. He took a moment to choose his words carefully. "Cristina is doing what she thinks is best for me."

"Are you sure?"

Owen paused for a moment before he answered. He hadn't spoken to Cristina about anything personal since the night of the storm. It had been strictly medicine and hospital business. He remembered how sad she had looked before she walked out of the on-call room the night of storm. "Yes, I'm sure."

"If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine."

Owen picked up fork and started eating his waffle to buy himself some time. When he was finished eating it, he continued. "She thinks that I don't know what I want out of life and that when I figure it out, I'll realize that there isn't room for her in it."

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Know what you want out of life?"

"Yes! I mean, I think so, I just-I know that I want her to be part of it."

Ruth nodded. "Okay, then you have to figure it out. You have to be sure and you can't figure it out by sitting and pondering it. I didn't like how you moved out into to that trailer when she went to Minnesota and I certainly don't understand why you stayed out there after she came back. It's like you're stuck in some holding pattern." Owen stared down at his hands. She continued, "Do whatever you need to do to figure out what your life to be, then start building it. It sounds like she has some things to figure out for herself, and when the time comes, if you still have a place for her, you can show her what it is. That's a strong-willed, independent woman you've got there-"

"I know, Mom-"

"-and it's going to have to be her decision to come back to you."

"I know."

"This is your time, Owen. This is your time to be strong-willed and independent, so don't waste it." Ruth pounded on the table with her fist to drive home her point, then stood up and started clearing the table.

"If I build it, she will come," Owen mumbled.

"What?"

"Never mind, it's from a movie, just- let's head outside, I've got about a million calories in breakfast food to work off."

Owen stood up and headed toward the door, but his mom reached out and grabbed his arm to stop him. She looked up into his eyes. "You're not ready to move on from her?"

Owen shook his head. "No, and I don't think I ever will be."

Ruth set down dishtowel she was holding and pulled him into a hug. "I know you'll figure this all out, honey, and you let me know if there's anything I can do to help."

An hour later, Owen drove his truck onto the ferry. He pulled into a parking spot and turned off this engine. This was the first time since the storm that he allowed himself to sit and think. He had been running himself ragged, so that when he lay down to sleep, he would be out as soon as his head hit the pillow. This wasn't without design, of course. He hadn't been ready to think about what had happened between him and Cristina, but now he felt like he had to.

He hadn't wanted to think about it because it made him sad and angry. He felt like she had blindsided him, but then, he was sure she had felt blindsided when Meredith had told her he was thinking about adopting Ethan. He felt like she had accused him of lying, kind of, and definitely of being secretive. He felt like he needed to set her straight on that. Mostly, he just couldn't believe she had broken up with him again. He'd lost count of how many times she had done it.

It had been only about 2 week since the Dawson's had entered their lives. Prior to that, things had been good between he and Cristina. They both worked hard and spent time together whenever they had the chance-even if it was just five minutes here and there. After Ethan had arrived, Owen would spend some of those five minutes here and there with him, instead of Cristina. _Maybe she felt neglected_, he thought.

He couldn't explain why he had clicked with Ethan so easily. He supposed that Ethan reminded him of himself at that age. He too had been obsessed with soccer and had a tendency to think he could take care of himself that had led to more than one incident of him wandering off. The whole thing was an unusual situation, with both parents injured and nobody from their lives stepping forward to help with Ethan. It turned out that they had just moved to the area the day before the crash and didn't know anyone in the area. Owen had enjoyed spending time with Ethan, and had only just started to allow himself to imagine how he might fit into their lives, when Paul had woken up.

Owen didn't know if that meant he had to have kids some day, but he could accept that he needed to explore it. He knew that being with Cristina meant that he would probably not have a traditional family. He had made peace with that. He thought he had, anyway.

_What do I want?_ he thought. He closed his eyes and saw Cristina standing in front of him. She had a smirk on her lips and a devilish twinkle in her eye. It was exactly the look she would get when she was plotting something he knew he was going to enjoy. Owen opened his eyes and sighed. "I want Cristina," he declared out loud to no one.

His mom was right, though. It would have to be her decision to come back to him. Next time, he wanted them to stay together for good, and seeing as she was the one who was always leaving, she needed to be sure.

_So,_ he thought, taking stock, _I want Cristina. I might want kids. What else do I want?_ He wanted to think about it, but decided to close his eyes again to give them a rest for a moment, first.

The next thing he knew, someone was knocking on his window. Owen woke with a start. The ferry attendant moved on without giving him a second look. It took him a moment to get his bearings before he drove his truck off the ferry. He decided to go to Derek and Meredith's house before going to the trailer. As he drove the familiar route through the island, he couldn't believe what a mess things were. Someone had obviously been through to clear the roads, because there were large piles of debris along the sides of them. It looked like there had been significant flooding in the area. He was grateful Derek had built his house on a hill. It was early, so most of the businesses were still closed, but there seemed to be a lot going on at the hardware store. The parking lot was about half full and it looked like people were camped outside of it waiting for it to open.

Finally, Owen made it to the road that led to the Shepherd house and the trailer. As soon as he turned onto it, he groaned. This stretch of road had not been cleared and there was debris all over it. He proceeded down it slowly. The road ran about a mile and a half though the woods. It was littered with leaves and branches, most of which his truck could easily drive over. He stopped and dragged some of the larger branches out of the way and hoped against hope that there wouldn't be any downed trees.

It took him a while, but finally, he made it to the Shepherd house. Meredith had left her car parked in the driveway and a tree had fallen on it. Miraculously, it appeared to have done minimal damage. None of the windows had broken, but there would be some dents and scratched paint to deal with. Owen unlocked the front door to the house and found Meredith's suitcase for the hospital right inside the door, where they said it would be. Owen made his way through the downstairs of the house looking for damage. He could tell that there had been some flooding in the laundry room and garage. The water had receded, but some of the stuff they had stored there was ruined. He turned on both the washer and dryer and they worked, but they would need to have a serviceman come out to check them to be sure there was not any lasting damage.

Owen found a small broken window panel in the master bedroom. He cleaned up all the glass and taped a trash bag over it as a temporary fix. He would have to go to the hardware stop after all to get plywood to cover it up better.

Next, he gathered up the items on a list Meredith had give him of things they needed. In addition to Meredith's suitcase, they needed a couple of changes of clothes for Derek and Zola, some overnight diapers for Zola and some of her books and toys. She had been spending a lot of time in the hospital daycare, but she needed things to entertain her when she in Meredith's hospital room.

As he walked around the house, Owen couldn't help taking stock. If it were his house, he would have used less wood paneling; he would have the kitchen a bit more closed off, so it felt more like its own room; he liked that the master bedroom was downstairs; he would have two living areas- a formal one for guests and a more casual one for the family to use everyday, etc, etc.

After he had everything packed up, Owen looked at his watch. It was 10 am. He was going to be cutting it close by the time he grabbed what he needed from the trailer, visited the hardware store and came back and fixed the window.

Owen talked to Derek on the phone as he drove to the trailer. Derek was glad the damage wasn't worse and profusely thanked Owen for his help. Owen had to drive down the road that led to the trailer slowly because of the debris on it, and when he finally reached the clearing and could see the trailer in the distance, Derek heard Owen curse.

"What? What is it?" Derek asked.

Owen couldn't believe his eyes. His mouth hung open as he drove closer.

"Owen?"

"I- it's-" Owen took a deep breath as he stopped the truck and turned it off. He shook his head. "It rolled over."

"What? The trailer?"

"Yeah the trailer." Owen got out of his truck and walk slowly toward it. "A tree fell and pushed it over on its side. The front door is pointed up at the sky, now. I'm sorry, Derek."

"No, I'm sorry, Owen. All your stuff is in there!"

Owen cringed. "Let me climb up and look inside, then I'll call you back."

"Okay. Send me a photo!" Derek replied.

"You got it," Owen said before hanging up. He took a picture of the rolled over trailer and sent it to Derek. Derek texted back the same obscenity Owen had uttered when he first saw it.

Owen walked around the trailer and finally found a place he could climb up on top of it. He gingerly walked across what used to be the front of the trailer to the door and unlocked it. When he opened the door, the smell about knocked him over. The freezer and refrigerator had come open and there was rotting food all over the floor and it was all mixed in with his clothes and personal affects. He hadn't brought a lot with him to the trailer, mostly just his clothes, but he did bring some photos and some mementos from his time in the army. He held his breath and stuck his head down into the trailer and looked toward the bed area. He could see the picture of him and Cristina that he'd had by his bed. The glass of its frame was broken and it looked like it had gotten wet.

Owen practically slammed the door before locking it and getting down off the trailer. He got back in his truck and sat there. This was nobody's fault, but he was angry. He needed to cool down. He needed to call Derek back. He needed to go to the hardware store. He needed to get all his stuff out of the trailer before it got worse in there. No way in hell he was going to get back to the hospital by noon, now.

"I want a house," Owen declared out loud to no one.


	2. I Can Do That For You

A/N: Just so you know, my goal is to post one chapter a week, and also, thank you for your comments! They are much appreciated!

Chapter 2

Cristina was certain that she had made the right choice.

Yes, she had spent less than 10 minutes in the baby boutique, but she was sure Meredith would like what she picked out. Cristina walked toward the hospital as fast as she could without running. Meredith and the baby were being discharged this morning and she wanted to be sure to give them the gift before they left. It was a long haul out to their house in the woods, and she didn't know when she'd have time to go out there.

As she strode through the hospital, she noted that there were hardly any signs of the storm left. Outside in the parking lot, there was a large scorch from the bus explosion, and inside the only evidence left was a few flashlights sitting around in odd places.

She rode the elevator up to the maternity ward and bolted out of it picking up the same brisk pace that had brought her that far, but when she turned the corner to where Meredith's room was she stopped so fast she nearly fell over. Owen. She ducked back around the corner. Her heart was pounding in her ears. She took a deep breath to steady herself, then peeked around the corner. Owen was standing just inside the doorway with Meredith's baby cradled in his arms. She was looking at his profile. He and Derek, who was standing with him, were both chuckling and grinning like idiots. Just beyond them, she could see Meredith sitting on the bed rolling her eyes, clearly not amused.

Cristina watched Owen. When he was done chuckling, he stared down at the baby in his arms and started to slowly sway back and forth. She had just started to feel a lump forming in her throat, when she noticed Meredith glancing at her. Cristina stepped back behind the wall, then stuck her hand back around the corner and waved it a couple of times. She knew Meredith would understand. Cristina took her bag with the baby gift in it and walked down a flight of stairs to the attending's lounge. She was relieved to find it empty. She unceremoniously plopped down on the couch, letting the bag fall out of her hand onto the floor. She leaned back and stared at the ceiling.

It had been four days. Four days since she had walked out of that on-call room and not looked back. Four days since he had called out to her, but hadn't followed. She didn't know what to feel. The last four days had been a blur with Meredith and the baby being there on top of Dr. Webber barely clinging to life. The entire staff let out a collective sigh of relief when he had made a turn for the better the night before. Cristina was sure that the only reason Meredith had agreed to be discharged was because he was out of the woods.

Cristina had spoken to Owen a couple of times, but only in a professional context. He was always careful to avoid making eye contact with her. She had made the right decision. She was sure of it. Not that she felt like she had much choice. As much as he said he wanted her, he couldn't deny that she wasn't enough for him. She couldn't deny how much that hurt, even though she had been expecting for a while that was the case.

But all that was beside the point. She wanted him to be happy- completely happy and content. They had different visions of what they wanted their lives to be like, and she couldn't stand in the way of him seeing his come to fruition.

Cristina felt her phone vibrate. She had a text from Meredith that said, "They're gone."

A few minutes later, Cristina walked into Meredith's room and unceremoniously plopped down on her chair, letting her the bag with her gift in it fall out of her hand onto the floor. She leaned back and stared at the ceiling. "There's your gift."

Meredith, who was sitting on her bed changing Zachary's diaper, raised one of her eyebrows. "Umm, thanks?"

"Oh, sorry," Cristina said. She stood up and dumped the contents of the bag on to the bed, then sat back down.

Meredith looked at the pile of black cloth that was next to her baby, then looked at Cristina. "Little help?"

Cristina stared back at her. "It's a sling...thing. To carry the baby around in. So your hands are free." She waved her arms around to demonstrate.

"Are you sure that's what it is?"

"Yes!" Cristina said. "Oh! Wait!" She reached into the bag and pulled out several pieces of paper stapled together. "Instructions!" she said as she tossed them onto the bed. "Oh, and there's also a onesie somewhere in there with a 'Z' and a zebra on it." She was relieved they had decided after all to make "Bailey" the baby's middle name. She had told Meredith she didn't want to have to think twice when she got a message from her saying, "Bailey when poo-poo in the potty!" Zachary was a better first name and Cristina was already almost over the cutesiness if both kids' names starting with 'Z.' Almost...

Meredith stuck the last tab on Zach's diaper, then sifted through the pile of cloth until she found the onesie. She held it up to examine it. "Thank you," she said with a smile.

"You're welcome. That sling thing is top-of-the-line, I promise. I did research."

"Okay," Meredith said, leaning back to rest against the pillows. "How are you doing?"

"Fine," Cristina replied crisply.

"Okay..." After a silence that seemed to last an eternity, Cristina finally spoke.

"So, uh, what, um, was so funny earlier?" she asked doing her best to ooze nonchalance.

"What, when the guys were in here?"

"Yeah."

Meredith groaned, and shook her head. "Let's just say that the topic of circumcision never fails to turn grown men into five-year-olds."

Cristina rolled her eyes. "I don't even want to know."

"Don't worry, it's not worth repeating."

"I can do that for you, by the way."

"Do what?" Meredith asked.

"The circumcision. I've seen a ton of them done and you know I've got steady hands."

"What- What?" Meredith stammered.

"I grew up Jewish, I've been to many a bris."

"And your parents let you watch the procedure?"

"Sure! Well, Saul did anyway. Until my mom got wise to it and made him stop."

"Why would he even let you watch in the first place?"

"He didn't exactly let me the first time, but I thought it was awesome and once he realized my fascination was scientific and not Freudian, he was okay with it. I had always been curious about his orthodontic tools and anything bloody, so maybe...I don't know maybe it was a questionable parenting choice, but he wasn't exactly a parent, so it's all good."

Meredith furrowed her brows. Cristina could tell she had questions. The two of them hadn't ever talked about Saul much. She continued, "He couldn't replace my dad. I wouldn't let him."

"Ah," Meredith said after a moment as she as she sat up straighter and grabbed Zach's new onesie, "I get it." Meredith unsnapped all the snaps on the outfit and started dressing the baby.

"What is that supposed mean?"

"Well, you tend to have very specific ideas about how things should be and it sounds like that started from a young age."

"I wasn't just being stubborn!"

"I know," Meredith said. She stopped what she was doing and looked Cristina in the eye. "You didn't have anything against him. You were protecting your dad's memory."

Cristina nodded. "I'm sure he understood that." She got up and walked over to the baby's crib and folded one of his blankets. "I really am willing to circumcise Zach. It would make a great story at this 16th birthday party..."

"No," Meredith said, shaking her head. "But, thank you."

Cristina walked over to a table in where several congratulatory cards were displayed and started putting them into a stack.

"Now, you've got to talk to me for real," Meredith said, "because I'm getting ready to leave to go hide in the woods with my offspring, and I don't know how much time I'll have to talk while I'm there."

Cristina neatened the stack of cards and laid it on the table, then headed back to the chair. "Okay," she said. "What do you want to talk about?" Meredith gave her a withering look. Cristina sighed. "I don't- I don't know what-," she dropped her eyes to her own hands. "You have more important things to worry about. For example, that outfit is way too big on him!"

Meredith chuckled. Zachary was practically swimming in his new garment. "Well, it's newborn sized, so what can you do?" She wrapped him tightly in a blanket and cradled him in her arms.

"You're getting good at that," Cristina said with a smile.

"You're good at changing the subject," she smiled back. "_You_ are an important thing to me and I can't help worrying about you, because I want you to be happy."

"I am happy!" Cristina said too cheerfully. "I'll be even happier this afternoon at 1 when I start the porcine valve replacement I have scheduled! Porcine valve replacements are my favorite," she said wistfully.

Meredith shook her head sadly. "You'll be happy in the OR for 4 hours-"

"3 and a half!"

"Fine, 3 and a half hours, then you'll scrub out and I won't be here to distract you from the fact that you're not all that happy." Cristina just rolled her eyes, so Meredith continued. "I know it hurts that he didn't come after you when you broke up him-"

"No, it doesn't. I made the right de-"

"-and I know that it hurts that he has been avoiding you, but-"

"I made the right decision and I think he knows that!" Cristina nearly shouted. Zachary squirmed in Meredith's arms, then yawned. Meredith smiled down at him then scowled up at Cristina.

"Talk to him." Meredith said. "Based on what you told me, the two of you have more you need to say to each other. I'm not saying it's going to be easy."

"I'm giving him space. I'm trying to do the right thing."

"I know. I know that." Meredith got up and placed Zachary in his bassinette, then slowly eased herself back onto the bed. "Remember a few weeks back when I asked you if you would take Zola and Fetus- I mean, Zach, if anything ever happened to Derek and I?"

"Yes," Cristina sighed.

"You said 'yes' at first, right away, with no hesitation." Cristina shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "You don't want kids, but you know and love Zola already, and the thought of her in trouble-"

"No, no, no, it's not the same with Owen. I mean, yes, he and the kid got along really well, and he tried to tell me that it was just about Ethan and not kids in general, but I know it's not true. I mean, maybe it was partly true, but he wants kids, I'm sure of it."

"Well, I think you should talk to him, anyway, now that he's had a few days to process everything."

"We'll see."

Meredith frowned. "Do you want him back?"

"Not if it's going to make him unhappy. Not if he's not going to be satisfied with how his life turns out."

Just then Derek walked in the room with Zola holding one hand and Zach's carrier in the other. "Ok, let's get this show on the road!" he said with a grin.

By one o'clock, Meredith was long gone. As Cristina stood over her patient, she took a deep breath and released it slowly, allowing all the tension that had built up in her after the conversation with Meredith to melt away. She stuck out her hand and said, "Scalpel."

She really did love porcine valve replacements. It had been the first cardio surgery she had done on her own. She remembered that day that seemed a million years ago, now. That daffy patient of hers couldn't decide what kind of valve she wanted. Cristina had finally forced her to decide without thinking. Just to blurt out her first thought, her gut reaction. Pig or cow. That day, somebody had brought up the notion that forcing a split second decision was the way to find out what you really wanted and damned if it hadn't worked on her patient.

That doesn't mean it was always reliable, she thought. Meredith had blindsided her when she asked her to be her kids' guardian if she and Derek died and honestly, she never should have asked. She of all people should have known better. Cristina shook her head.

"Is something wrong, Doctor?" One of the nurses asked with concern in her eyes.

"No, everything is perfectly fine." Cristina turned her focus back to the surgery. Her mind may have wandered, but her work hadn't suffered. She knew all the steps and she hadn't missed a beat.

Before she knew it, the surgery was over. She had completed it in 3 hours and 18 minutes. Not a new record, but among her fastest. About a minute after she started scrubbing out, Intern Leah stuck her head in the door. "Chief Hunt said to look for him when you are done with your surgery." She started to leave until Cristina called out to her.

"Hey! Any idea where I'll find him?"

"3rd floor, east conference room."


	3. The Plan

A/N-Some people have asked about perspective. So far the chapters have been entirely from either Cristina or Owen's perspective. They'll most likely alternate going forward, even though this chapter is the second Cristina chapter in a row. There could be also chapters that switch perspectives midstream. Thanks so much for reading!

Cristina stood next to the conference room door and listened. She had confirmed with his assistant that Owen was inside and based on how quiet it was in there, he had to be alone. This would be the first time they would be alone together in a room since the night of the storm. Cristina took a deep breath, then rapped gently on the conference room door.

She heard Owen call out, "Come in." She walked into the room and closed the door behind her, then stood at the end of the table. Owen didn't even glance up. He was bent over a stack of papers reading and making notes. Cristina shook her head. He had become increasingly obsessed with paperwork ever since the lawsuit regarding the plane crash and the incident with Bailey and the rubber gloves. He painstakingly reviewed every single thing he signed, kept a log of them, and kept hard copies. He had also taken it upon himself to personally review every single medical supply change Pegasus had made. Cristina had told him it was all overkill, but he wouldn't, or wasn't ready to, listen.

Cristina stretched her neck out a bit could see that he was currently reading a report on tongue depressors.

"Yes?" Owen finally asked, still not having glanced up.

"You wanted to see me?"

At the sound of Cristina's voice, Owen started, jumping about an inch off his chair. His ears turn red with embarrassment as he said, "Sorry, I wasn't expecting to see you so soon."

"3 hours and 18 minutes, no complications" she said.

"Porcine?"

"Yes."

Owen nodded and looked down at his paper. She could see that he was trying not to smile. He cleared his throat. "That's very impressive." He glanced up at Cristina. She looked down at the table, also, trying to suppress a grin. "Have a seat," he said, awkwardly gesturing toward a chair.

As Cristina obliged, Owen started stacking up the papers he had been looking at and straitening some of the other stacks around him. He seemed almost flustered. She folded her hands neatly on the table in front of her and waited patiently for him to start talking. She wondered if he wanted an update on the clinical trial she had been working on. Maybe he wanted her input on one of the medical supplies.

When he finished arranging things on the table and finally looked at her, he got a strange expression on his face.

"Oh, um," Owen cleared his throat. "This isn't, um, a professional conversation. I ran into Dr. Murphy earlier and she asked me who I was looking for, and, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have had her beckon you for personal conversation."

"Oh," Cristina said. She relaxed her posture and took her hands off the table and put them in her lap. She suddenly felt like she had a swarm of butterflies in her stomach. She had been giving him space and she figured they would talk at some point, but she expected to have a little more warning. "Well, I'm beckoned," she said. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Well, there are a few things I want to clear up."

"Okay," Cristina said.

Owen took a deep breath. "I hadn't told you what I'd been thinking about Ethan, yet, because I didn't think it would be appropriate."

"Why?" Cristina said, shifting uncomfortably in her chair.

"Because his father was still alive and was your patient." Cristina dropped her eyes. It made sense to an extent, but-

"I know," he said, leaning forward toward her, "I know that you would never compromise the care of a patient. Ever. But still, it would have been awkward for you to know that I was thinking about-" Cristina looked up at Owen and saw that he had dropped his own eyes. She could tell he was feeling guilty- guilty for thinking about helping a kid in need. It was just like him. She was about to speak, when he finally looked back up at her. "It didn't seem appropriate and what happened was the best outcome for all involved."

Cristina sighed. "Don't feel bad for thinking about ways to help him before- before it was absolutely necessary, and I get what you're saying about his father being my patient, but-" she sighed again.

"I would have told you eventually," Owen said.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Even with the father living and them going away forever. You still would have told me?"

"Yes." Owen said emphatically. He sat up straighter. "I just had to figure out how to approach it," Owen said. "I- it was going to be asking a lot of you." Cristina crossed her arms and bit her tongue. This was one thing she had been wondering about ever since that night. She felt like he had made the decision to adopt Ethan by himself and she didn't know where she fit into that plan.

Her thought was interrupted when Owen continued. "If I adopted him-"

"Wait- if _you_ adopted him?"

"Yes. Me, myself," Owen said. Cristina didn't know whether to feel relieved or scared. "I wasn't going to suggest that WE adopt him," Owen continued. "I wasn't going to ask you to be his mother, I know you don't want that."

Cristina felt a little dizzy. She had assumed he would probably want them to adopt Ethan and raise him together. He was right that she didn't want to be a mother, but… her mind was flooded with questions and she didn't know what to think. She uncrossed her arms and grabbed the edges of her chair. After a moment one of her questions finally made it to the surface, "You just said you would be asking a lot of me?"

Owen nodded. "Eight years."

"Eight years?"

"Yes, well, Ethan is 10 and if I adopted him he would be living me for eight years, at least, until he went to college and that would mean- I didn't know if- I didn't know how we would arrange that."

Cristina closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "You were going to adopt him. Yourself."

"Yeah."

"So, I would be- I would be-"

"My- my girlfriend," Owen said awkwardly. Cristina looked up at the man who had been her husband. He was staring at the table. He stammered on, "I don't know. I don't- know how it would have worked out. I had hoped we could figure that out together..." As Cristina dropped her eyes, she could feel Owen's eyes on her, examining her and trying to read what she was thinking. After a moment he spoke again, "I don't want to put you on the spot, but I wonder what would you have said."

Cristina couldn't meet his eyes. "I-I don't know," she lied. She was trying to imagine herself going along with that arrangement, but she couldn't do it. Not in that moment.

"That's totally fine," Owen said eagerly, "I don't want you to answer right now. I want you to take time to think about it."

Cristina finally looked him in the eye. "I'll think about it, Owen, but this- me breaking up with you wasn't really about Ethan."

Owen nodded. "I know. I know that I hurt you when I couldn't say that you would be enough for me." Cristina felt a lump start to form in her throat. "It's not because I don't love you and don't want to be with you."

"Owen-"

"The truth is I don't know if I need to have kids in my life to be happy, but I can accept that I need to explore it and I'm going to do everything I can to figure it out."

Cristina took a deep breath. "Owen, wouldn't it be easier just to move on and find someone else-"

"I'm never going to find another you," Owen said resolutely.

Cristina looked back down at the table again. This was exactly what she was afraid of. That his love for her blinded him to what it was possible for him to have. That he would settle for some version of his dream that wasn't exactly what he wanted. She was afraid he would be disappointed, not only with his life, but with her, if she was honest with herself.

Suddenly, he spoke again. "Wha-? Is that-? Do _you_ want to move on? Is that what this really is?"

"No, Owen. No. I just want you to be happy."

"You make me happy!"

"Not completely!"

"Cristina-"

"I make you happy for a while and then something always happens and-"

"Well, it's not going to be that way this time. We need to take some time to consider what we want and see if we can work this out."

"I don't know..."

"What always happens is that we separate and then we miss each other so much that we get back together before we consider and think through what the problem was in the first place and then we get caught up in the- the lust of it all and we keep not talking about it." _That's us in a nutshell,_ Cristina thought. Owen continued, "We have to break the cycle. It has to be different this time because I don't think us being apart is the answer. So, I think we should take a break for a month or two to think and explore what we want on our own, then we should try being friends for a while before even considering getting back together."

"Friends?"

"Yes."

Cristina's head was spinning. She didn't want to lead him on or give him hope when she was sure of what the outcome was going to be. "I love you, Owen, I really do, but I don't know how much difference a month or two is going to make."

"I think it will make a lot of difference! I'm going to make the most of it, myself."

Cristina felt her cheeks turn red. She hoped that didn't mean what she thought it meant- that he would play the field. He was a grown man and he could do what he wanted, but she needed to know. "What do you mean by that?" she finally said, looking him directly in the eye.

Owen looked back into her eyes for a long moment. "I don't think this should be a dating-other-people kind of break, if that's what you're getting at. What I meant was, I'm going to take that time to figure out whether or not I want kids."

Cristina was relieved on one front and confused on the other. "What- how can you even do that, Owen?"

"Don't worry about that, that's my problem, and really, it's not just about the kid thing, anyway. I'm going to be taking stock of everything in my life and figuring out what I want, and I think you should do the same," Owen said. "If at any time you want to end it for good, like if you meet someone else and want to see how it goes with them, you just let me know."

"I thought we weren't dating other people."

"We aren't as long as we are sticking to the plan."

"The plan."

"Yes. We keep our relationship and interactions strictly professional for 1 to 2 months. Let's just say 2 months. I think a little distance might be good for our perspective on things. Then, we try being friends for a while. Just platonic friends so we can talk and get reacquainted without, um, physical distractions and after a while, however long it takes, we'll decide if we want to get back together."

Cristina buried her face in her hands. It all seemed so arbitrary, but he really wanted to try this. She tried to imagine how not talking for an extended period of time would be good for them, but then one of the things she worried about was that being with her clouded his judgment, so maybe it would make it easier for him to figure things out. Would she take him back if she was sure that she wasn't going to hold him back? _Yes,_ she thought. What could he say or do to put her mind at ease about that? _I have no idea_, she thought.

"Cristina," she jumped at the sound of his voice. "The other night, you asked me a complex, life-altering question and expected me to answer right then on the spot without thinking. I'm asking you for more time."

Suddenly, Cristina, who was still covering her face, had an epiphany. "I pig-or-cowed him," she mumbled into her hands.

"What?" Owen said.

She uncovered her face. "I pig-or-cowed y-" She stopped because Owen looked completely confused. Then she remembered: She never told Owen the pig or cow story because she had nearly broken up with him because of it. The day of her first solo surgery, she had found out Teddy was planning to leave. Teddy was the best mentor she'd had since Burke and when Teddy said she would stay if she could have Owen, Cristina had blurted out that she could take him. Cristina knew she hadn't meant it and she felt bad about it, but all the next day she started to wonder if that was what she really wanted because she had blurted it out. It got to the point that she was planning to break up with him, until he showed up drunk on her doorstep and said he wasn't going to let her toss him aside. _We matter_, she remembered him saying.

"Okay," she said. She registered some surprise in Owen's eyes. "I agree to your plan."

Owen nodded and cleared his throat. "Okay." Owen pushed back his chair and stood up, so she did the same. She saw one of his hands twitch and wondered it he was thinking about asking her to shake hands on the deal. She followed him over to the door where he put his and on the doorknob, and then stopped. "Oh, um, you probably heard about the trailer."

"Yes, I did. I'm so sorry. I hope your stuff is okay." Meredith had said Derek was heartbroken about his precious trailer rolling over. They were still trying to decide if they wanted to have it repaired or call it a loss.

"Yeah, thanks. Pretty much everything was salvageable."

"That's good."

"Um, I was thinking about, if you don't mind, staying at the firehouse until I get a place of my own."

"Oh!" Cristina was surprised. She and Owen had both tried living in the firehouse alone and both of them had been unsuccessful. She didn't know what to think of him wanting to try living there again. "Of course, yes!" she said. "You really didn't even have to ask."

"Well, technically it's your house," Owen said. Cristina nodded and looked down. It stung to hear him say that. She always thought of the firehouse as theirs. When she got back from Minnesota, he had told her she could do whatever she wanted to with it since it was in her name, but she couldn't bring herself to put it on the market. She wondered what kind of place for himself he was looking for.

Owen still had his hand on the doorknob. "Okay, so, we keep it professional." Cristina nodded. "We're just two colleagues who never…" his voice trailed off. He dropped his eyes to the floor, but she could see that his face was twisted with emotion.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and steadied herself to speak. "This is good, Owen. This will be good for us." She wanted to believe it. She wanted to believe that after he searched his soul he would still want to be with her. "It's not all on you, I'll be taking stock, too." Owen nodded, but still didn't look up. "I just don't want to stand in the way of you getting what you want," she said.

Owen finally looked up. His eyes were red and it made his irises seem an even brighter blue than usual. "You won't," he said gently. With that he opened the door for her. As she walked past him, she brushed her fingers against the back of his hand.


	4. Real Estate

A/N: Many, many thanks to my beta reader mwgrl2000 for her excellent feedback and support!

* * *

The alarm on Owen's watch went off at 6am. He rolled over so he could reach where it lay on the floor and turned it off. He scooted himself over a little further so he could roll himself over onto his hands and knees so he could stand up. Getting up off that air mattress was awkward as hell and he was glad nobody was around to see it, he thought as he stretched his arms up to the ceiling. Cristina had taken their old bed with her to Alex's and he didn't want to order a new one until he had a permanent place to put it, so he was making due with an air mattress. It had only been 10 days, but he didn't think he could last much longer. He was grateful that he wouldn't have to.

Owen brushed his teeth and got dressed, then grabbed his water bottle and headed out for his morning run. When he got back, he took a shower. While he ate his breakfast, he caught up with current events on his tablet. Normally, when he was done with breakfast he would head to the hospital, but today was different. At 9 o'clock, he was going to show his mom the house. THE house. He was sure it was the one he wanted, he just wanted to let his mom take a look at it first.

He already knew what his mom would say-it was too big and it needed too much work. He didn't think she would be able to talk him out of it, but having someone else come and see the house just seemed like something you should do. He also couldn't deny that there was a chance that in a few years as she got older that she might live there for a while. It was no coincidence that the house had a full basement that could easily be converted to a garden apartment.

Since he had time to kill, Owen decided to get some work done. The board wanted him to join them in their meeting at 10. He would be presenting some of his findings from the medical supply research he had been doing and he wanted to go over his notes.

Finally, at 8:30, Owen couldn't wait anymore, so he got in his truck and headed to the house. He would be there early, but he didn't care. He could spend the extra time looking around at the outside of the house and making plans. Every time he visited it, he came up with more improvements he wanted to make. It had so much potential. He had relished restoring the firehouse and this would be like that times ten.

Owen loved the firehouse, he really did, but part of him was ready to get out of it and that wasn't just because of the air mattress. He was very proud of how he had transformed it, but it was also full of memories. It had been the first and only home that he and Cristina had shared alone, together and even though a lot of the items that had filled it were gone or boxed up, there were reminders of her everywhere. He was constantly reminded of her snarky comments. "We don't need to close off the bedroom," she'd said. "There's nobody else here!" and "How the hell are we supposed to have shower sex in a bathtub with feet?!" Owen smiled to himself as he remembered how they had worked that one out.

Being there without her was the definition of bittersweet. He hadn't been able to handle living there alone when she had been far away in Minnesota, but this time he was holding onto hope and tried to use those memories as inspiration. He tried, but it still got to be too much at times and he found himself sleeping at the hospital more often then he should, (which had something to do with the air mattress, too).

Owen pulled up in front of the house, but instead of getting out and walking around, he sat in his truck, lost in thought, as he'd been prone to be lately.

It was strange being near Cristina, but not near her. He saw her every day, but they only spoke to each other when work required it. Their relationship was strictly professional. He couldn't help wondering if he had done the right thing with that plan he had come up with. As much as he knew his mom was right, that he needed to move forward and let her decide if she wanted to be with him, in the end he just couldn't cut her loose completely. The night before he talked to her, he had tossed and turned. He had debated between letting her go and begging her to stay, and finally settled on something in between. He wished he hadn't given her an out, and yet, he wanted her to know that she had a choice. He wasn't worried about her finding someone else, though- not after the look of relief she had gotten when he assured her their break would not involve dating other people.

He'd thought about that conversation a lot during the last ten days. He had no doubt that she loved him and wanted things to work out for them. She had resisted the plan at first, which he had expected, but she had also agreed to it more quickly than he expected. He had been surprised that she had been surprised that he was intending to adopt Ethan by himself. He just didn't feel like he could ask her to be a mother when he knew so well that it wasn't what she wanted. Unfortunately, Meredith had spilled the beans before he'd been able to fully think through and plan how he would approach her with his thoughts about Ethan. Ten days later he still wasn't sure what he could have said to make things turn out differently. He had expected the conversation to be rough and knew there was a chance that she might break-up with him over it at first. She might have adjusted over time and come to accept it and figure out how much she wanted to be involved, or she could have decided she wanted out.

Of course, Ethan was a moot point, now, and he had to figure out how to figure out if he wanted kids. That was turning out to be much easier said than done. He had started making inquiries into foster parenting, but based on his research it could take months for that to come to pass. It frustrated him, because he was determined to stick to his part of the plan. That included figuring out the kid thing and taking stock of the rest of his life to see what he wanted.

He had made the timing of the plan so short because he didn't want to be separated from Cristina for too long. He was pretty sure that he wouldn't know about the kid issue by the end of the one to two month 'non-friend' phase. He hadn't put any time limit on the 'friend' phase that would follow, and he was starting to be afraid that if it took him too long to be sure about what he wanted, they could be stuck as friends forever and that was a horrible thought. Also, what if he decided that he really did want to have kids and she refused to be with him because of it? She wasn't comfortable with the idea of her or him or them having kids and he wasn't sure if that would change. Even though the outlook seemed bleak, he also had faith that their love could conquer anything. It had up to now.

All he could do at the moment was stick to the plan, flawed though it was. He had made some progress already. He wanted a house- that had been an easy decision and surprisingly easy make come to pass. He just wasn't sure what else he might want or even what he should be considering, but surely those other issues would be easier than the kid issue.

Just then, the real estate agent pulled up and parked behind his truck. The two of them stood on the front lawn and chatted until his mom pulled up a few minutes later.

His mom smiled brightly at him as she got out of the car, but as soon as her eyes landed on the house her face fell. It was exactly the reaction he had expected.

"Hi, Mom!" he said to her before kissing her on the cheek.

"Hello, honey," she replied with a tight-lipped smile.

After making introductions, the three went on a tour of the house. It was a large Victorian style house that was over 100 years old. The previous owner was an old bachelor who had inherited the house from his parents. He had spent the last several years living primarily on the ground floor. He had been an engineer by trade and had been something of hoarder when it came to electronic equipment. He had decided to retire down in Arizona and had managed to clear out most of his stuff, but couldn't be bothered to make any other improvements to the house. In fact, the last time the house had been renovated was in the early 70s, as evidenced by the liberal use of mustard yellow and avocado green.

Owen's mom was quiet for most of the tour. As they walked through the house and the realtor described the features, Owen would chime in with some of his plans. He was going to expand the living area on the second floor and install French doors out to the balcony. He was going to build a walk in pantry in the kitchen. He was going to expand the patio in back and put in a fire pit, etc, etc.

When they were done with the tour, Owen walked his mom to her car. Before he had a chance to open the door, she pulled him into a hug. "That's a lot of house, Owen," she said as she pulled away. "Five bedrooms and four bathrooms?"

"I know. I know it's huge and I don't know how I'm going to fill all those rooms, but I look at the house and I just see potential. I don't know, maybe I'll just fix it up and sell it eventually and hopefully make a profit."

"That's going to be a really big project, Owen."

"I know," Owen said.

Ruth shook her head, "My boy always did like a challenge."

Owen smiled as he opened the door for her to leave. As she drove away he looked down at his watch. "Damnit!" he exclaimed. He had a board meeting in 15 minutes and he was going to be late. He quickly apologized to the real estate agent. They had planned to spend some time going over some numbers, but there was no time, now.

He jumped in his truck and headed toward the hospital. Since it was the middle of the morning and there was no traffic, it only took him ten minutes.

When he got to the hospital, he practically ran into the building. He took a detour by his assistant Eileen's desk. He slammed his briefcase on her counter a bit too hard. "Sorry," he said with a sheepish look, then he popped it open and took out a large stack of papers and set them on her desk. "These are ready to be filed. Thanks- and good morning!" He snapped the briefcase closed and turned to leave.

"Where?" Eileen demanded.

"Excuse me?" Owen said, turning around.

Eileen waved her arm around her desk and after a moment Owen realized she was gesturing toward the several file boxes that were stacking up in it. "I don't have any more room, Dr. Hunt. You've got to find somewhere else for me to put all this stuff."

Owen looked around and nodded. "I'll figure out something, somewhere for you to keep more files." He started to slowly back away. "Soon. Promise."

"It better not be far away from here!" Eileen called out as he turned and bolted away, then she mumbled to herself, "I'm not walking halfway across the hospital to file all this crap."

As Owen strode down the hall toward the conference room, he felt his phone vibrate. "Damnit!" It was someone from the DSHS. He stopped in his tracks and spun around. He needed to take this call, but where? On his second spin around, he saw it- stairwell.

"Owen Hunt," he said into his phone as he ducked into the stairwell.

"Mr. Hunt?"

"Yes."

"This is Sheila Ross from the Department of Social and Health Services. I am calling with regard to an inquiry you made regarding adoption?"

"Yes, well, adoption, but more likely foster parenting right now, but I'm just about to step into a meeting. Is there any chance you could call me back between 2 and 3 this afternoon?"

"Yes! Of course! I'll talk to you then."

"Thank you." Owen hung up the phone and turned toward the door, then stopped. He thought heard a noise from the landing up above him. He walked as quietly as he could toward the railing and looked up. He heard a gasp and saw the top of a head with long brown hair disappear over the railing.

"Hey!" he called out. "Is that you, Wilson?"

He paused and heard the door on the landing above close. "Great," he grumbled to himself. "Freaking impossible to have any privacy in this place." Those interns, or residents as they were now, were notorious gossips and he was sure his business would be spread all over the hospital by lunchtime. He looked at his watch. No time to chase her, he had to get to the meeting. He left the stairwell and walked swiftly down the hall toward the conference room. He knocked on the door.

"Come in!" he heard Callie call out.

Owen stepped into the room. "Good morning," he said. They had left the chair at the end of the table closest to the door open for him. He sat down and looked around the table. When he got to Cristina their eyes locked for a long moment. Finally, he cleared his throat and sat up straighter. "I want an office," he declared to the board.

* * *

Cristina was having trouble keeping up with what Owen was talking about. It was seriously boring and she was distracted by watching him-watching his lips move and his hands gesture and his lips move and his eyes dart around to room trying to engage his audience. She liked the way his mouth looked when he said 'statistically significant.' Every now and then she pretend to take notes on the notepad she had propped up against the table in front of her. So far she had written 'Owen Hunt,' 'Cristina Yang,' 'Owen Hunt,' 'Something about medical supplies,' and 'I'm hungry.' She knew that the stuff he was talking about was important, it was just really, really boring.

She swore she could hear quiet snoring coming from the phone in the middle of the table. Since Meredith was still on maternity leave, she had called in for the meeting. Derek was technically still on leave, too, but he was in the area running errands and decided to stop in. Cristina was pretty sure he was regretting it about now. He was sporting his signature glassy, checked-out stare.

Owen looked good. A little tired, but that didn't surprise her. It had been ten days since he had moved back into the firehouse and he had spent half of those nights at the hospital, not that she was keeping count. She wondered if it was hard for him to be at the firehouse without her. She wondered if he was sleeping on their old couch, even though his feet would hang off the end. She wondered what kind of place he was looking to move into. She would ask him if they were friends. It frustrated her to no end, not knowing. She missed him. Here she was relishing the excuse to stare at him for an hour. As nice at is was to see him, it was frustrating that she couldn't walk over there and shut him up by putting her lips on his.

It also frustrated her that she didn't know exactly what she should be taking stock of. She wanted to be the best cardiothoracic surgeon on the planet and she wanted to be with Owen, but only if he could be happy and fulfilled with her. She wondered if he was going to decide he wanted to have kids. He did want them, she knew he did deep down. What would she do when he realized and decided it?

She was snapped out of her reverie when Jackson spoke. "Thank you, Doctor Hunt. I move that we approve all of the suggested medical supply changes that Doctor Hunt has proposed. All in favor?"

"Aye," said four voices in the room and one on the phone. Cristina hit Callie with her elbow.

"Aye!" Callie said, looking a little confused. Her mind had clearly been elsewhere. Cristina saw Owen smile at her, then duck his head down. He was so cute when he did that.

"Meeting adjourned!" Jackson said with a smile. Arizona popped out of her chair first and made a beeline for the door. Things were still frosty between her and Callie. Jackson shook Owen's hand, then left. Cristina made her way around the table to where Derek was. He looked completely exhausted. She stood awkwardly next to him while she listened to Owen and Callie as they walked out together.

"So, Torres, it seemed like you were less than riveted by the section about gauze pads."

"Oh, no," Callie said. "I was so utterly, incredibly enthralled, that I blacked out for second there at the end."

Owen laughed. "That's funny because gauze pads was the very first thing I talked about…" They had walked out of the room and were out of earshot. She looked at Derek, who was standing there staring at his phone.

"Do you think she remembered to hang up?" They both turned and looked at the phone in the middle of the conference room table.

"I'm still here!" Meredith called out from the phone. "Just had run to the restroom after we took the vote. Did I miss anything good?"

Cristina leaned over until she was practically lying on top of the table so that her face was right by the phone. "Just some witty banter between Callie and Owen. How are the Z's?"

"They're fine. Both napping."

"Shouldn't you be sleeping, too? I mean, isn't that the cardinal rule of new motherhood, sleep when the baby sleeps?"

"Oh, well, um, there may have been some, uh, sleeping…" her voice trailed off.

Cristina laughed. "I knew it! I'd know that snore anywhere!"

"I didn't- I don't snore anymore!"

"Oh, you do," Derek chimed in. "Not as loudly as you used to, but you still do."

"Oh, whatever. You- you-" Meredith groaned then sighed. "You can just think of your own snappy comeback, Mr. I-don't-snore."

"So, what do you think of Owen wanting an office?" Cristina asked. "I mean isn't that weird? He always loved being up and around and in the thick of things. Why would he suddenly want an office?"

"Well," Derek butted in again. "As some people get older, they develop a greater desire to put down roots and be more-" Cristina picked the phone up off the latch and sat back in the chair.

"I mean, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing, but it is kind of, I don't know, out of character for him." Derek rolled his eyes and walked out of the room.

"I'm off of speaker phone, now, aren't I?"

"Yep, and Derek has left the room."

Meredith chuckled. "I'm not sure what it means or if it's a sign of anything. I mean, you could just ask him."

"I can't, we're not talking right now, remember?"

"Oh, right, that's right," Meredith said. She paused for a long moment. "Why is that again?"

Cristina sighed. "Sleep, Meredith. You really should get some sleep while you can. Derek is probably on his way back there to annoy you as we speak."

"He lets me sleep."

"I know, I know. I'll talk to you-" she glanced up and saw Alex and Jo down the hall straight ahead having a heated conversation. "What is that all about?" She mumbled.

"What? What happened?"

"Alex and Hairball are having some kind of fight." She watched them for a moment. "Jo is definitely having a meltdown and Alex is trying to talk her down."

"What?! Can you hear anything?"

"No, they're too far away."

"You gotta find out what that's all about and call me back. Or text me!"

"Okay, okay," Cristina said, "and if you hear anything about why Owen wants an office-"

"No," Meredith said. "He'll tell you when he's ready and trying to nose into his business defeats the purpose of you taking time apart-"

"I thought you didn't remember!"

"It all came rushing back to me," Meredith said. "You're being a little obsessive, and-"

"Fine, fine, whatever."

"Okay," Meredith said. "So, 'no' to Owen gossip, but 'yes' to Alex gossip."

"Got it. Oh, wow, Hairball is sobbing into her hands and Alex is awkwardly patting her on the back…and now they've parted ways and he's coming this way- bye!" Cristina hung up the phone and ran to the door, then stopped and casually strolled through it just as Alex approached.

"Hey, Alex!"

"Hey." He turned to the left and kept walking. Cristina scurried over and fell in step beside him.

"How's it going?"

"Fine."

"What was all that going on back there?"

"Jo was freaking out because she got caught eaves-dropping."

"Ooooo! Who was it? What did they say?"

"Hold on." Alex's phone had buzzed twice. He reached in his pocket and pulled it out then read a text. "I can't tell you," he said.

"What?! Why not?"

"Because."

Cristina scoffed. "Who was text from? You were about to tell me- was that text from Meredith?"

"No comment."

"It was! It was, and that means it was Owen that she overheard, so what did she hear? Come on, tell me. I know your little girlfriend told you."

"She is NOT my girlfriend."

"You say that now, but-"

"No. It was a temporary, _ill-advised_ exploration and it is over, now." Alex had turned and glared at her when he'd said 'ill-advised.'

"Okay, sorry, whatever, so what did she hear?"

Alex stopped walking and turned and looked at her. "Meredith is right, Cristina. Give the guy the space he asked for. I'm not going to tell you what she heard and I'm going to make damned sure Jo doesn't tell anyone either- least of all you." With that Alex stormed off. Cristina didn't follow him. There didn't seem to be any point.

They had stopped walking in front of a nurses' station. She turned toward it and saw that one of the new residents was sitting there with his arms folded and his head on the desk.

"Happy!" Cristina said, with a totally intentional shrillness. Shane jumped about a foot off the chair, then scrambled to stand up.

"Yes! Yes, Dr. Yang. What can I do for you?"

Cristina crossed her arms and studied him. He looked over-tired and under-groomed. She was willing to bet that he hadn't left the hospital in at least 3 days. He smiled awkwardly at her.

"No!" she said, holding up a finger. "That," she gestured toward his face, "is not right. That's completely pretend-happy. Why aren't you happy-happy?"

Shane let his face and his shoulders slump, then he plopped back down into his chair.

"Come on, spill." Cristina was determined to get information out of somebody today, even if it had to be this lowly first-year.

Shane sighed. "I always wanted to be a neurosurgeon just like Dr. Shepherd. I thought things were going along fine, but then kicked me off his service because he said I didn't have the natural talent for neuro. Then, he picked Heather to be his protégé." Shane said that last part with particular disgust. He slumped even further down in his chair.

Cristina felt pity for the kid. It was bad enough that he was into neuro and idolized Derek, but she couldn't imagine what she would have done if someone had told her she couldn't be a cardio-goddess.

She folded her arms the counter and leaned forward. "Listen to me," she said. "Being kicked off neuro is the best thing that ever happened to you." Shane dropped his eyes to the floor.

"Come on," she said. "You're with me, now." She turned to leave and took a few steps before stopping. She looked back. Shane was still sitting there looking at her with a confused expression. She shook her head and walked back to the counter. "Fooollllllooowwww mmmmmeeee," she said. "Now!" she said sharply. "Come on!" She turned and strode the hall. After a moment, she heard footsteps running toward her, then falling into step behind her. She smiled to herself as she and Shane walked toward the lobby.


	5. One Step at a Time

Cristina was bored. She had been waiting around for their board meeting to start for what felt like forever. It was supposed to have been at 9 am this morning, then it got pushed back to 11:30 when Callie got called into surgery, then back to 2:30 when Arizona had an emergency come in. Now it was almost 6 and the meeting still hadn't started. They were going to try again for a 6:30 start time, but Cristina wasn't holding her breath.

Cristina took another bite of her yogurt and surveyed the cafeteria. The dinner crowd was always much slimmer than the lunch one. There wasn't anyone she was particularly interested in talking to, which was how she felt most of the time these days. She sighed and slumped down in her chair and put her feet up on one of the other chairs at the table she was sitting at.

Suddenly, she heard a familiar voice coming towards her from behind.

"Okay, now let's go over this one more time so I can be sure you've got this."

"Yes, Dr. Ross."

"You don't wake me up…?"

"-unless the patient is dying." Cristina smiled to herself; it was nice to hear that Bailey's five rules were still getting passed down to each new intern class. She wasn't so sure that her habit of nicknaming was a good thing to get carried on, though. The intern Shane was talking to sounded utterly defeated. They had stopped walking and were standing about 10 feet behind her.

"Get out of here, Q." Shane said roughly. Cristina heard the intern scurry off. She peeked over her shoulder and watched Shane walk towards the counter to buy some food.

It had been two weeks since she had put him on her service. He was an excellent resident- very hard working and conscientious. She had been letting him help with Dr. Russell's lotus valve trial, which freed her up to work on some research of her own. She had decided to look into reviving the stem-cell project Teddy had been working on before she left. It was still in the planning stages, but hoped she could get it up and running in a couple of months. In the meantime, Shane was taking care of all the grunt work that Russell gave her that she didn't want to do. Shane's work was always delivered on time and in excellent form. She could tell that he appreciated the importance of what he was doing. There was definitely prestige attached to the project and it had great buzz in the medical community, and yet, she could tell that his heart wasn't in it. He was still pining for neuro. She wasn't sure if he would ever get over it and she definitely wasn't sure if he was ever going to latch on to cardio. For now, she figured it was good to keep him engaged. Someone in his position could easily get disillusioned and fade away into oblivion. He was a good doctor, maybe a great one. He just needed to find a new inspiration.

When he was done paying for his food, she waved him over to her table. He smiled as he walked toward her. "Good evening, Dr. Yang," he said as he set down his tray, and then sat down.

"Hey, so what was that all about with your intern?"

"Oh," Shane said as he rolled his eyes. "He woke me because one of his patients was drooling!"

"What?!"

"He thought she was foaming at the mouth!"

Cristina burst our laughing. "Wow," she said. "That is…wow!"

"I know," Shane said, allowing a smile to creep onto his face.

Cristina sat up and leaned forward. "So, why did you call him 'Q'?"

Shane shrugged. "That's the nickname I gave him."

"You know his name, don't you?"

"Sure! He just reminds me of this TV character." Cristina gave him a puzzled look. "It's- you've probably never seen it…."

"Hmmm." Cristina was concerned. He didn't seem like the kind of person who would give people nicknames like that. _Yes,_ she thought. _I'm prone to nicknaming, but it's part of my charm! _For some reason, it didn't seem as charming coming from Shane. "When was the last time I called you Happy."

"Well, I guess it's been a couple of weeks-"

"That's right." she said. "That's because I know your name now." She didn't say it was only because he had become important enough for her to learn his name. "I think you need a break," she said.

"What?" Shane said, stopping his fork halfway to his mouth.

"From me, from this," she waved her hand around. "Just for a couple of days." Shane put the bite of food in his mouth, then pouted. "You need to get your hands dirty. Report to Kepner tomorrow."

"But you're doing a pneumonectomy tomorrow and I've never seen one before!"

Cristina was happy to see his enthusiasm, but tried not to let it show. "You'll have plenty of time for pneumonectomies. You need to be well-rounded. A little trauma would do you some good!"

Shane scowled and took another bite of food. He ate quietly for about a minute while Cristina scraped every tidbit of yogurt out of her cup that she could, then he spoke. "Is this because I gave my intern a nickname?"

Cristina eyed him suspiciously. "Did you give _all_ of your interns nicknames?" Shane ducked his head down and went back to eating. She watched him for a long moment. "I just know that you're trying to find your way, but I don't want you to lose who you are." Shane paused for a moment, then kept eating. He was a lot like her in some ways- an excellent student, very driven and competitive, a hard worker, but he was also very different- he had an easy smile and a natural instinct for patient care. She didn't want him to start emulating her too much. "Besides, you really shouldn't think of working with Kepner as punishment. She's a badass trauma surgeon."

After a couple more scrapes, Cristina was finally satisfied that her yogurt all gone. She looked at her watch. It was 6:05. She stood up.

"Gotta go get ready for my meeting." Shane nodded. "Kepner! Tomorrow!" she called out as she walked away. She really didn't need to get ready for the meeting; she was just tired of listening to him chew.

She made her way down to the administrative hallway and sat on a chair in the hallway outside of the boardroom where they would be meeting. She pulled out her phone and texted Meredith. _Talk?_

A few seconds later, she got her response. _Got to get kids fed before meeting._

"Typical," she mumbled to herself. Just then, she caught something out of the corner of her eye. Owen was walking toward her from down the hall to her right. He was walking briskly, with purpose. He was wearing his lab coat over a light blue shirt and slacks. He wearing the navy blue tie she had bought him for his birthday two years earlier. He looked neat and put together, as usual. _Very chiefly_, she thought.

He was staring down at his phone as he walked, but when he got about halfway down the hall, he glanced up, then did double take. He looked right at her and smiled broadly. She couldn't help smiling back. As their eyes locked, it felt like the world slowed down. She could have sworn he was moving toward her in slow motion. When he passed her, he nodded his head toward her, then suddenly things were back to normal speed. She watched him walk away from her down the hall and imagined how fine his backside must be looking under that lab coat.

He was headed toward his new office, which was down at then end of the hall. He hadn't wanted Dr. Webber's old fishbowl office, so they had converted one of the smaller conference rooms. She had heard that he was using Webber's old furniture, which had been in storage for the last couple years. She had heard the office was actually bigger than Webber's old one. She just hadn't seen it, yet. It frustrated her, but she hadn't had any professional reason to go in there.

Cristina reached back and adjusted her ponytail. She was looking forward to seeing him in their meeting and it was not a coincidence that she had chosen to wear her hair up to show off the back of her neck. She felt like she had hardly seen him in the last two weeks. She figured he must have found a new place to live, because she was sure that he hadn't spent the night at the hospital lately.

She, on the other hand, had been spending a lot of nights at the hospital. She had been working extra hours and devoting extra time to her research to help keep her mind off the Owen situation. It seemed like Shane was there just as much as she was, maybe more. He was always hanging around ready for her to give him a new task. She needed to watch that he didn't burn himself out.

Cristina decided to close her eyes and visualize the surgery she was going to be doing in the morning. _Crap,_ she thought. _I'm going to have to pick a different resident to scrub in. _She had started to get used to always having Shane in her OR.

Cristina started her visualization as she always started each surgery- by asking for her scalpel. She could image how the cold metal felt in her hand.

After a couple of minutes, Cristina heard a noise down at the end of the hall to her left. She turned her head slightly that direction and barely opened her eyes. What she saw made her open her eyes all the way and furrow her brows. Jo Wilson standing by Owen's office. Actually, she had just come out of it and was carefully closing the door behind her. It stuck Cristina as seriously weird. What could she have been doing in there with out him?

Cristina shook off her uneasy feeling and closed her eyes again. She picked up visualizing the surgery right where she had left off when she had been interrupted. She was soon deep in thought and tipped her head back to rest it on the wall behind her. She was just about to spread the ribs when she heard something again. She opened her eyes just in time to see Jo go back into Owen's office.

_What the hell?_ she thought. She stared down at the end of the hall willing it to give her answers. She looked at her watch. 6:15. The rest of the board would start congregating soon. She tried to shake off her uneasy feeling again and closed her eyes. She had time to visualize spreading the ribs before the meeting, but seriously, what were they doing in there? She opened her eyes and stared down the hall. The only time she had spent any significant time in the chief's office when she was a resident was when she was in trouble. _Maybe she's in trouble,_ she thought to herself. That thought comforted her as she closed her eyes yet again.

She had imagined a beautiful incision and now she saw herself picking up the rib spreaders and if Jo had gotten into serious trouble, she would have heard about it. She found herself staring down the hall toward Owen's office again.

"Uggg, I give up," she mumbled to herself. She got up and started pacing around. It was 6:20. He was going to be here at 6:30 and she would see that everything was perfectly normal. He would smile that amazing smile he had given her in the hall earlier and everything would be fine. _Everything will be fine,_ she reminded herself. She paced into the boardroom and turned on the light. She got the phone off of the counter and set it in the middle of the table. She sat down in her usual seat. She used her feet to push herself away from the table and the next thing she knew, she had rolled herself to the door and was sticking her head out of it looking down the hall toward Owen's office.

"What are you doing?" she heard a voice call out from her right. She turned her head in the direction of Callie's voice.

"Just…waiting."

Callie stopped right in front of her and crossed her arms. Cristina's chair was completely blocking the door. "Do you think you can wait inside?"

Cristina stood up and was nearly nose-to-nose with Callie. She wanted to think of a snappy comeback, but this whole Owen thing had thrown her off her game. So, she just said, "Okay," and rolled her chair back to its rightful place.

"Are you okay?" Callie said.

"Yep," Cristina said as she sat in her chair. She crossed her arms and stared at the table. Callie got the hint and didn't engage her. She just sat down in her usual seat and started looking at her phone.

After a couple minutes Jackson showed up, followed by Arizona. Callie greeted Jackson, but not Arizona. Cristina didn't greet either of them. Jackson dialed up the Shepherds and they all exchanged pleasantries except for Cristina. She wasn't in the mood. It was 6:35 and Owen still wasn't there.

"Shall we get started?" Jackson said. "Where's Hunt?"

"Oh, he'll be-" Arizona was interrupted when the door suddenly opened.

"Sorry, guys," Owen said as he closed the door behind him. He quickly took his seat at the end of the table.

Cristina felt like a large stone had been dropped into the pit of her stomach. Owen's appearance had changed significantly since she had seen him in the hallway earlier. His lab coat was gone. His tie was loose. His sleeves were unbuttoned and had been partly rolled up. His hair seemed mussed up. Cristina stared down at the table in front of her wishing she could crawl under it and disappear. She hadn't allowed herself to actually think it until this moment, but now it looked like it might be true. Was Owen fooling around with Jo Wilson? Everything around her melted into muffled haze as she felt herself becoming consumed with sadness.

"Okay, Dr. Hunt is here now," Jackson said for the benefit of Meredith and Derek, "Let's get started."

"Is Cristina there?" Meredith called out from the phone. Everybody turned and looked at Cristina. It took her a moment to realize it and another moment to pull herself to the surface so she could speak.

She cleared her throat. "Yeah," she managed to squeak out. She could feel everyone take their eyes off of her one by one. Finally she could tell from the corner of her eye, that Owen was the only one still watching her. She wasn't going to look at him. She couldn't look at him. She had to hold herself together.

Jackson started the meeting and she finally felt Owen's eyes leave her. It was the beginning of the academic year, and with it there was always new research projects to discuss and consider. The discussion was pretty lively, but Cristina was bogged down in her own thoughts. _How could he?_ she thought. _He was the one who had said if they wanted to date other people they would call off his plan._ Maybe he hadn't had a chance to tell her, yet. _But then why didn't he tell me in the hallway, earlier?_ she thought. _Maybe he didn't know yet, then. Maybe that little trollop was waiting in his office to ambush him-_

"What to do you think, Cristina?" Everyone was staring at her again. She wasn't sure who had spoken to her.

"Remember?" Callie said, gently. "We talked the other day about combining our resources on the stem-cell research." Cristina turned and looked at Callie, who was looking back at her with great concern. Cristina tried to quickly pull herself together.

"That's right. Our research would utilize a lot of the same tools. We could add other specialties and eventually become one of the leading centers for stem-cell research." From the way everyone was looking at her, she got the feeling that she had just repeated what Callie had just said. She allowed herself a quick glance at Owen. His brow was furrowed with concern. She sat up straighter. "I've spoken to Altman and I have her blessing to pick up the research where we left off. She has moved on to other projects in her new position."

"Cristina and Teddy really did an amazing job when they designed that project," Owen said. "I'm really pleased Cristina wants to revive it." He smiled at her and she stared blankly back at him. He looked taken aback, but Cristina didn't care. She felt betrayed and she didn't need him to try and curry favor with her by backing her project. Owen was staring down at the table in front of him. She could read confusion on his face. She looked away quickly when he glanced up at her.

Nobody else at the table seemed to notice the nature of their exchange, as the meeting continued to buzz along at its previous pace.

Suddenly, it struck her. Owen would never hook up with Jo. Never in a million years. She chided herself for even thinking it. She trusted him completely. There had to be some other explanation, she just had no idea what was going on in his life and clearly it was making her crazy.

Cristina did her best to stay focused and participate the discussion, but didn't have much luck. She tried to make eye contact with Owen, again, but it never happened. Eventually, she realized that after that one exchange he never directly addressed her again. She hoped the look she had given him wasn't too severe and that he didn't think she was mad at him.

As soon as the meeting was adjourned, Owen bolted from the room. As everybody else filed out, Cristina addressed the phone on the table. "Ok, going to hang up on you guys, now."

"Actually, will you pick up the phone for a minute?" Meredith said.

"Sure." Cristina picked up the receiver and sat back down in her chair.

"What is going on with you?" Meredith demanded.

"What do you-?"

"Don't try to deny it. I can't tell you're upset, so just tell me."

"Hold on." Cristina got up and closed the door. After she sat back down, she picked up the phone, but didn't say anything.

"Are you there?" Meredith asked.

"Mm-hmm."

"Talk to me!"

"I don't know what to…" A lump had formed in Cristina's throat. She took a deep breath and released it slowly. "Something's going on with Owen and I don't know what it is and it's making me insane!"

"Well, what happened?"

"He was just- it's nothing, I know it's nothing. It's not even worth mentioning, I never should have thought it, it's nothing, it really is just nothing and I never should have thought it and I'm not even mentioning it."

Meredith paused then said, "I think you're right."

"I am? Wait! About what?"

"This is making you insane."

Cristina groaned. "I just -it doesn't make sense and I hate it!"

"I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation, Cristina," Meredith said. "In fact, I know there is. I really…I don't like keeping secrets from you, but Owen is trying so hard and there are some things that he's done- that he's doing, that he's going to tell you about as soon as he's ready, or he thinks you're ready…but if he knew about this- if he knew you were feeling like this-"

"Well, he doesn't know and he's not going to. Please don't say anything to him; I don't need you to interfere. I can handle this, I'm fine."

"Cristina, what did you see?"

"Nothing. Everything is fine. I'm fine, Owen's fine, we're all good, here, so I'll talk to you later."

"When are you coming to see me?"

"Soon, I promise. Okay, I've got to go."

"Call me when you get home!"

"Yeah, okay, maybe, bye." With that she hung up the phone. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed quietly for a couple of minutes. She felt guilty for doubting him. There was no excuse for it. She missed him so much; she could physically feel it, like an ache that she couldn't really define. It enveloped her whole being.

They had to figure out things out. She didn't see that there was any other option. She just didn't see how, yet. She was sure he was going to figure out that he wanted kids. but she didn't know how she would fit into that life. She just knew that she didn't want to be on the outside looking in. She didn't how much longer she could take it.

"One step at a time," she said out loud to no one. First, she decided that she wanted to apologize to him for being rude to him in the meeting. She wanted to respect his wishes about them keeping things professional for now, but she felt like she had behaved unprofessionally toward him and needed to let him know things were okay between them.

Cristina took a moment to collect herself. She was going to see if he was still in his office and she didn't want to look like she had been crying. She should stop by the restroom first, she thought as she got up and walked toward the door. She took a deep breath before she opened it and stepped through. She immediately noticed that someone was also coming out of Owen's office. It was Alex. He backed out into the hallway and then a moment later, Owen appeared. He was holding a kid. It was a boy who looked to be about six or seven. He appeared to be asleep, as his head was resting on Owen's shoulder. Cristina felt her mouth drop open.

Owen and Alex exchanged a few words, then they parted ways with Owen heading away and Alex coming in her direction. He took several steps before he looked up and saw her. He stopped in his tracks and she was pretty sure she could see him curse.

When he started walking toward her, he was practically running. When he reached her, he said, "Close your mouth, we need to talk." He grabbed her arm and guided her back into the boardroom.

* * *

The alarm on Owen's watch went off at 6am. He rolled over to where it lay on the bedside table and turned it off. He stood up and stretched. The bed was a little softer than he liked, but he was getting used to it. It had only been a week, after all.

Owen brushed his teeth and got dressed then quickly made his bed. When he opened his bedroom door to go out to the kitchen, the Palladino's cat, who the boys called Fang, but their mom, Heidi, called Daphne, greeted him by rubbing up against his legs. Owen bent down and scratched her behind her ears and he heard her purr appreciatively before she ran into the kitchen. Owen followed her and gave her a can of food before starting the coffee brewing. While he drank his coffee, he caught up with current events on his tablet, then checked his e-mail. He had a message from Ken Powell, a contractor he had worked with on the firehouse. Ken had done excellent work for him before and Owen felt like he could trust him. That was very important because he wouldn't be around much to oversee the work. That was one downside of the commitment Owen had made for the next three months. The plus sides were 1) having a place to stay while the most disruptive parts of the remodeling was done on his house; and, more importantly, 2) the chance to get hands on experience in what it was like to have kids.

It had only been 10 days since the night that Owen had gotten an unexpected call from his army buddy, Mario Palladino, who was currently deployed as a medic in Afghanistan. Mario had gotten a frantic call from his wife saying that her mother had been in a serious car accident and had been taken Grey-Sloan. Owen had left his office and got down to the surgical floor just in time to see April and Callie wheeling her into the OR. She had two broken legs and a broken collarbone. She also had some internal bleeding that they needed to get under control right away. The injuries didn't appear to be life threatening, but she was going to need to have significant reconstruction done on one of her legs.

Owen went down to the lobby and found Heidi. She sobbed all over Owen's shoulder when he greeted her with a hug. Mario and Owen had been new recruits together and even though they had eventually ended up in different units, they had always kept in touch. Whenever their schedules allowed, they would try to get together when Mario was home on leave.

Owen kept Heidi and Mario updated on Heidi's mom's condition throughout the night, and when she was out of surgery and in the clear, Owen gave them the good news. He expected Heidi to be relieved, but instead she started sobbing all over again. Owen took her phone from her and Mario explained.

Heidi had gone back to school to study fashion a couple years earlier and had won a prestigious internship in New York City for that fall. They had it all planned out for Heidi's mom to stay with their two boys while she was away, but now, that clearly wasn't going to happen. It would be quite a while before her mom would be back on her feet, and Heidi was due to leave in two days. She didn't know how she could make arrangements for them in such a short amount of time. Owen offered his help then and there. He moved into their guest room that night. The next day he got a crash course in their lives and the day after that, he and Heidi took the kids to their first day of school, then he dropped her off at the airport.

At 6:45, he heard the first of boys' alarms go off. Mario had requested that Owen treat his sons like little soldiers. He said his wife was a wonderful mother, but that the boys could use a little more structure to their routine. Heidi has said they could do what they wanted as long as they boys didn't end up with buzz cuts, so after a long series of text messages, Owen and Mario had come up with a plan. Phase 1 was tightening up their morning routine. Owen had been going through the morning routine with the boys every day so far, but today, he was going to see how Nick, the elder of the two, did on his own.

Nick, was 11 years old and had just started sixth grade. He had light brown hair and blue eyes like his mom's. He was a quiet boy. Mario said he was sensitive and something of a perfectionist. Owen didn't think Nick had warmed up to him, yet.

Owen stayed in the kitchen and listened to see what Nick would do. About 10 minutes after his alarm had gone off, Owen finally heard Nick's bedroom door open. He heard him go into the bathroom for a few minutes, then he want back to his room. At 7:05, he came out and stood in the doorway to the kitchen.

Owen smiled as he walked toward him. "Right on time! Good morning, Nick."

"Good morning," Nick replied dully. He looked like he was about half asleep, but he was dressed and had combed his hair. Owen walked around him with a critical eye. "Your appearance passes inspection, good job. Let's check out your room." Owen and Nick went down to Nick's room. The first thing he took note of was that the bed was made. It wasn't as neat as it could be, but this the first time he had done it without being reminded, so Owen was pleased. Owen surveyed the rest of the room, checking in the closet and under the bed. All the dirty clothes were in the hamper. "Everything looks to be in order, good job." Nick nodded.

Next, they went to the bathroom. Owen could tell that he had brushed his teeth and washed his face. "This is pretty good, Nick. Just make sure you don't leave any globs of tooth paste in the sink."

"Aww, man!" Nick said. He went over and scraped the toothpaste off with his finger, then washed his hands. "So close," he mumbled.

Owen patted him on the shoulder. "Overall, you did a really excellent job, this morning. Let's get you some breakfast."

Nick was just finishing eating, when Owen heard Tony's alarm go off. Owen made his way down to the six-year-old's room and stuck his head in the door. "How are you feeling, buddy?"

"Great!" Tony replied with a huge smile. He was already out of bed and was attempting to make it, which for him meant pulling all of the covers up so they covered his pillow.

"That's great to hear," Owen said, smiling back. The previous day, Tony had thrown up in the car on the way to his karate class. His friend's mom, who was giving him a ride, took a detour and dropped him off at the hospital. Unfortunately, she brought him to the ER instead of the front entrance like Owen had asked. There was a great deal of confusion when she had pulled into the ER bay asking for a Dr. Owen and saying she had a sick kid for him, but not letting the ER staff take him out of her minivan. She was not about to get charged for an ER visit and she said as much to Owen in a frantic text. By the time he got there, Arizona had been paged, and there was a debate going on among the residents about calling Social Services. For the second time in as many weeks, Owen found himself being apologized to by Jo Wilson. She had been the first one to talk to the woman and she said she should have been able to put the pieces together since Alex had told her what he was caring for some kids. Owen didn't blame her and he told her so, but he did ask her if she would sit with Tony in his office while he took care of some things around the hospital and while he was in the board meeting. She had been happy to do it.

Owen wasn't mad a Jo, but he was perturbed that so many more people knew what was going on in his personal life. He just didn't want the word to get back to Cristina, yet, and now chances of that happening had skyrockted.

A couple of minutes before the meeting was supposed to start, Tony had gotten sick again, mostly all over Jo. Owen had taken off his lab coat while he started cleaning up, and paged Alex to come and take over. Owen knew he had looked like a mess when he had finally made it to the board meeting and he hoped nobody had smelled anything foul on him.

Cristina had given him an odd look when he had spoken up about her stem-cell project. He hoped something about him hadn't offended her, but also had wondered if she was upset because he was late to the meeting. He knew well that she hated it when he was late. She had seemed fine just a little while earlier when he had seen her in the hall. Owen wondered if she had heard about what had happened in the ER. He didn't think she would react to the news with anger, but then he didn't really know that for sure.

Later that evening, during his daily Skype chat with his parents, Tony had confessed that he had eaten a bug on a dare while he waiting to be picked up after school. After some questioning, they determined that he had eaten a roly-poly. Once they had assured him that he was not going to die, Tony was suddenly starving and ate a late dinner before he went to bed. Owen was relieved that Tony seemed fully back to his normal, chipper self the next morning.

Owen shadowed Tony as he went through the rest of his morning routine. By the time they had made it to the kitchen and Owen sat Tony down with his breakfast, it was time for Nick to head out to catch his bus. Everything was running on time and according to plan. Owen followed Nick to the front door and then out onto the porch. There, he stopped. Nick had requested that Owen not accompany him to the bus stop. Owen agreed, but he always stood on the front porch so he could keep an eye on Nick until the bus came.

"Hey," he called to Nick as he crossed the yard. "What do you want for dinner tonight?" It was Wednesday, the one day of the week that neither of the boys had any after school activities. "We can make whatever you want."

Nick paused and thought for a long moment. "Pizza."

Owen laughed. "You got it." Nick smiled at him then walked away. As soon as Owen saw Nick get on the bus, he went back in to check on Tony, who was only about halfway through his breakfast. He was a notoriously slow eater, which was why Owen budgeted twice as much time for him to eat as he did for Nick.

While Nick favored his mother, Tony was a mini-Mario all the way. He had dark brown hair and big brown eyes. He was outgoing and exuberant.

Owen sat down across the table from Tony. "Nick requested pizza for dinner tonight. Is that alright with you?"

"YES!" Tony hollered, with a fist-pump for emphasis. "Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum," he continued chanting as he bounced up and down in his seat.

Twenty-minutes later, Owen walked Tony to the bus stop. They only had to wait about 2 minutes for the bus to arrive and as soon as Tony was safely on his way, Owen took off on his morning run. When he got back to the house, he took a quick shower, then grabbed something to eat on his way to the hospital.

After he parked his truck, he instinctively pulled his phone out of his briefcase to check for messages, but found that the battery was dead. With all the hubbub going on with Tony being sick, he had forgotten to plug it in to charge for the night.

Owen marched through the hospital straight to his office. As soon as he sat at his desk, he plugged his phone into its charger. It immediately sounded a new message alert. It was a text message from Alex that had been sent late the night before. It said, "Cristina knows about the kids."

_Oh, hell_, was all Owen had time to think before he heard a knock on his door. "Come in!" he called out as he slumped back in his chair and rubbed his eyes. He wondered how much Alex had told her and what her reaction had been. He had hoped to see her reaction in person. He looked up and saw Cristina sticking her head in the door.

"Is now a bad time?" she said.

"No! No, come on in!" Owen sat up and started to awkwardly straighten some things on his desk. As Cristina walked to the chair in front of his desk, she looked all around curiously. Owen realized this was the first time she had been in here. As she sat down, he folded his hands neatly in front of him on the table. "So, what can I do for you?"

Cristina was still surveying the room and when her eyes fell back on him, she got a strange expression on her face.

"Oh," she said. "This, um, isn't, a professional conversation."

"Okay," Owen said. He relaxed his shoulders, not having realized he had them hunched up. Just then, their eyes locked. As they gazed into each other's eyes for a long moment, Owen felt himself getting less tense. He could see a nervous air that Cristina had about her when she first sat down melt away from her.

Finally she spoke. "I know it's been less than a month, but can we skip to the part where we're friends, now?"

"Of course," Owen said, his face breaking into a huge smile. Cristina smiled back. Suddenly, Owen remembered the text he had just read. He cleared his throat. "So, I hear that you heard about the kids I'm taking care of."

"Oh, yeah, well, I saw you with one of them last night and Alex filled me in." Owen was having trouble reading her expression, but she didn't seem particularly troubled. "I think it's really great that you're able to help out Mario and Heidi," she added.

"Yeah, me, too," he said. "I hope you weren't too surprised by what you saw."

Cristina smiled. "I was at first, but, like I said Alex filled me in."

"Do you have any questions about… anything?"

Cristina's face turned serious as she thought for a moment. "No," she said. "I'm just really glad that you have this opportunity." Just then Owen identified what he hadn't been able to define in her expression. It was a hint of sadness.

Owen wanted to tell her that she didn't need to worry. That no matter what he decided about having kids he would always want her. He felt like it was too soon, so what he managed to say in that moment was, "Me, too." He smiled at her and she smiled back.

"So," she said brightly, "I have surgery now, but are you free for lunch?"

"Of course," Owen said, he smile broadening.

"Great! I'll meet you in the cafeteria." She started to get up to leave, so Owen jumped out of his chair to go open the door for her. He held the door open as she walked through, but just before she crossed the threshold she stopped and turned back to face him. "Since we're transitioning to a new phase of 'the plan,' do we need to shake hands on it or something…" Her voice trailed off as she stared deep into his eyes.

Her face was mere inches away from his. He could tell she had washed her hair that morning; the smell of her conditioner was making him light-headed. Her lips were full and pink and shiny with fresh lip-gloss. He tightened his grip on the doorknob to keep from throwing her up against the wall and kissing her, but then he realized that his lips were slowly being drawn towards hers like a magnet.

Cristina snapped out of the trance first and stepped back. "I guess not, never mind," she said. Owen moved his lips, but he couldn't speak. She smiled at him sympathetically as she turned and walked away. Owen closed his office door, then slammed his forehead against it a little too hard.

"Ow!" he exclaimed. It smarted, but he didn't care. He was all smiles.


	6. Hidden Treasure

A/N Be warned there's a rather sudden perspective change in the middle of this chapter. Just be aware when you cross the line. Also, thank you for your continued support! :)

* * *

Owen sighed. He and Cristina would not be able to have lunch together that day.

He was in the gallery watching her operate and she had just discovered that the damage was worse than expected. It was going to be at least another two hours until she was done. She looked up at him with apologies in her eyes. He smiled and nodded at her.

In the two weeks since they had decided to be friends, lunchtime had become the bread and butter of their relationship. For an hour a day, they would sit across from each other at a table in the cafeteria and talk. It wasn't much, but it seemed to be all they had time for and Owen had come to depend on it. Being with her- seeing her face and hearing her voice- recalibrated him. All the stress he was under seemed to melt away in her presence and he always went away feeling refreshed.

They talked about everything that was going on in their lives- hospital happenings, her research, his new house, their friends- except they didn't talk much about the kids Owen was caring for. He didn't think much about her lack of curiosity at first, but lately he had realized that whenever the kids did come up in conversation, she never probed. She would acknowledge what he said, then change the subject. It was starting to feel like an elephant in the room to him.

Owen got up and left the gallery. He went to the refrigerator in the attending's lounge to retrieve his lunch, but then instead of going to his office or the cafeteria, he went back to the gallery. He was going to have lunch with her, after all. He loved watching her in action, especially in cases like this one where things didn't go according to plan and she had to improvise. Improvisation was one of the things he loved about trauma surgery and he couldn't pass up the opportunity to watch her play it by ear. She had her own unique style and she often managed to surprise him.

After he was done eating, Owen made a round of the surgical floor to make sure every thing was in order and to check the surgical board. When he was done, he went to his office and started looking at some financial reports. They would be finalizing the budget for next year, soon. After about two minutes, it was clear to him that he wasn't going to be able concentrate, so he grabbed a pile of things he needed to sign and headed back to the gallery.

When he got there he was surprised to see that Cristina had completely changed her approach to the repair. He was upset that he had missed what had happened to cause the change and made a mental note to ask her later.

Owen settled down in the back row of the gallery with his paperwork. He stuck to the random routine stuff that didn't require much thought, so he could keep one eye on the surgery.

Cristina was done with the repair at about 2:30. She allowed someone else to close for her. Owen packed up his stuff and dropped it by his office before heading down to the scrub room.

"Hey!" he said as he closed the door behind him.

"Hey, yourself," Cristina replied with a smile. Owen suddenly became acutely aware that they were alone together in the small scrub room. They hadn't been alone together since the day she had come to his office and asked it they could be friends. They always chatted when they crossed paths around the hospital and, of course, they had lunch out in the open for all to see in the lunchroom. It was easy to be just friends in that environment. It was easy to talk about topics that were easy to talk about and avoid the messy things and the uncomfortable things. He leaned against the sink as she scrubbed out.

"So, I stepped out in the gallery for a few minutes and when I came back you had completely changed your approach. Why was that?"

Cristina bit her lip. She often did that when she was searching for words. "I can't give you a quick answer to that," she said. "Are you up for a late lunch? Or a second lunch?"

Owen smiled. "I wish I could, but I have to head out pretty soon."

"That's right! It's Wednesday." Cristina said, giving him a suspicious glance mixed with a smirk. "You always leave early on Wednesday."

Owen sighed inwardly. What he said next was going to dampen her cheeky mood. "That's right," he said. "Neither of the boys have any after school activities on Wednesdays, so I try to be home when they get off the bus." Cristina's smile remained fixed in place, but she stared intently at her hands. Owen knew her scrub out routine, she should be done by now. "So," he continued, "we have extra time after homework to have fun and, AND, the best part is, we make individual sized pizzas and you can have any toppings you want." Cristina glanced at him quickly and smiled. She turned off the water and dried off her hands. "You should join us some time," he added.

Cristina tossed the towel she was using into the bin, then leaned against the sink and crossed her arms. She stared at the floor in front of her for a long moment, then turned her face toward him and said, "Yeah, maybe."

Owen smiled broadly. "I'll make sure to stock up on parmesan cheese just in case." Cristina laughed. Over the years, he had often teased her about the vast quantities of parmesan cheese she would dump on her pizza.

"You better," she said, her cheeky smirk having returned. Owen started to move toward her, then stopped himself. In the past he would have rewarded her smirk by putting his arms around her and kissing her on her cheek, or more likely on her lips. He was suddenly aware that there was no lunchroom table keeping him from touching her and reminding him they were just friends.

He took a step backwards. "I better get going," he said.

"Okay," she said. She turned again and looked deep into his eyes. Owen took another step backwards and put his hands behind his back.

"Okay," he said. He turned and escaped from that room as quickly as he could. As he strode back to his office he decided that they had to start seriously moving forward. They needed to get out of the lunchroom and start having deeper conversations. He needed to turn her 'maybe' into a 'yes.' He could sense her reluctance and her fear and he had to figure out how to breakthrough it. He hoped the right opportunity would present itself, soon.

Saturday morning, Owen took the boys to flag football practice. He watched Tony's team practice and when it was over, the two of them went over to watch Nick's team. Owen angled his chair so he could watch the practice and keep an eye on where Tony was playing with one of his teammates.

He had been sitting there for about a minute when he noticed one the kids on Nick's team waving at him as he ran down the field. "Hi, Dr. Hunt!" It was Ethan Dawson, the boy that Owen had watched over at the hospital when both of his parents were injured in a car accident they day after they had moved to Seattle. Ethan's father, Paul, had survived, but his mother had succumbed to her injuries. Owen smiled and waved back at him. He felt a pang of mixed feelings. His relationship with Ethan was what had caused, or at least exposed, the rift between he and Cristina. Now, it felt like that had happened a lifetime ago.

Just then, the coach called a five-minute break. Nick ran over and Owen handed him his sports drink bottle.

"Looking good out there," he said to his older charge.

"Thanks," Nick said. He was sweaty and out of breath. He raised one of his hands to shade his eyes as he surveyed his surroundings.

After a minute or so, Owen heard someone calling his name. "Dr. Hunt! Dr. Hunt!" Ethan was coming toward them followed by his dad.

"Hi Ethan, Paul," Owen said, acknowledging the two of them. Owen put his hand on Nick's shoulder. "Do you know Nick?"

"Kind of," Ethan said.

Owen gently squeezed Nick's shoulder. "Sure, we're teammates," Nick said. He smiled at Ethan, who smiled back, broadly.

"Hey, Tony!" Owen called out. "Come here for a minute!"

Tony ran over and stood next to Owen. "Hi, I'm Tony!"

"Tony, this is Ethan and his dad, Mr. Dawson."

"Uncle Owen's not my dad and he's not my uncle, but he's taking care of us because our parents are busy in far away places."

Owen chuckled. "That pretty much sums it up."

Just then, Nick and Ethan's coach blew his whistle to indicate that their break was over. They ran back onto the field.

Tony looked up at Owen. "Can I go back and play?"

"Sure, buddy, just don't go too far." Owen watched Tony as he scampered off to rejoin his friend, then he turned to Paul. "How are you doing?"

Paul was staring off into the distance, presumably watching Ethan. "I'm doing all right," he said with a smile.

"Has your recovery gone okay? If you don't mind my asking…"

"Yeah, I'm doing really well. Dr. Yang did a great job. It's been- I won't say it's been easy, but I'm a lot better now. I started my new job this week."

"That's great," Owen said. "How's Ethan doing?"

"Pretty good, I think. He's made a couple friends in his class. I think he's adjusting pretty well."

"That's great."

The two men stood and watched the practice in silence for a couple of minutes before Paul spoke again. "I really appreciate you watching out for Ethan while his mom and I were…while I was out of commission. He still talks about you."

Owen smiled. "It was no problem. We got to be good pals," Owen said. "He's a great kid. A little hard to keep up with sometimes…"

Paul smiled. "They do have a lot of energy at that age. So, if you don't mind my asking, what did the little guy mean by 'busy in far away places'?"

Owen smiled. "Nick and Tony are the sons of an old Army buddy of mine. He's deployed and their mom got an internship in New York that she couldn't pass up. So, I'm staying with them for the next three months."

"That's really great. Do you have any kids of your own?"

"No," Owen, still smiling. It felt awkward not to elaborate, but he didn't know what could add at that moment.

"Uncleowenuncleowen!" Tony and his friend were running toward him. Tony had his hands cupped. "Look at this bug I found! Do you know what it is?"

"It was good to see you," Paul said.

"You, too," said Owen. "We'll see you around." As Paul walked away, Owen leaned over so he could look at the bug. "That's a moth, Tony. It is NOT edible."

A little while later, the coach blew his whistle once again and all the kids ran off the field. They said their goodbyes then they got in the Palladino's minivan to head home. It hurt Owen's soul a bit to drive that thing, but it was the best thing to use with the boys. He hated to admit he was getting used to it.

On the drive home, Nick piped up from the middle row. "Hey, how do you know that kid?"

"His parents were patients at the hospital."

"Where's his mom?"

Owen paused. No way to sugarcoat it. "She passed away. We tried our best to save her, but we couldn't."

"Oh," Nick said. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you," Owen said. "That is one of the hard things about being a doctor."

They rode in silence for a few minutes before Nick spoke again. "I've never heard him talk to anyone before. He doesn't really have any friends on the team."

"I'll be his friend!" Tony called out from the back of the van. Owen smiled.

"I will, too," Nick said. "Even though he's not from my school or in my grade."

Owen pulled into their driveway and turned off the van. He turned around to look at them. "That's really nice of you, boys. Did you decide which movie you want to watch?"

"STAR WARS!" Tony screeched. The original Star Wars movie was the only one of them he was allowed to watch, so far.

"Is that okay with you, Nick?"

"Of course!" he said with a grin.

Just as Owen was getting the boys settled down with lunch and the movie, his phone rang. "Hey, good timing!" he said after he answered it.

"Good timing is one of my talents," Cristina replied.

* * *

"We're almost there," Cristina said. She looked over at Shane, who was driving. He looked back at her and scowled. She hadn't told him where they were headed. _He's going to be seriously confused when we make their first stop, _she thought with a bemused smile. "How was your morning?" she said to Owen.

"It was good," Owen replied. "Took the kids to flag football and they seem to have worn themselves out, at least for a while. They're eating lunch, now."

"Oh, no," Cristina said.

"What?" Owen said. She could detect a tone of alarm in his voice.

"If you feed them, they'll become un-worn out and you'll have to wear them out all over again."

Owen laughed. "Well, I kind of have to feed them. They'll wear themselves out again later at the birthday party they're going to…and, oh, um, they'll have cake there-"

"-which will un-wear them out again," Cristina said, finishing his statement.

"That's pretty much the name of the game," he said with another laugh. She couldn't help smiling. She loved hearing him laugh. She loved making him laugh even more. It was one of the many perks of being his friend, even though it didn't quite make up for the perks of being more than his friend. It would have to do for now.

"Oh!" She called out suddenly.

"What!?" Owen said.

"Turn here! Turn here!" Shane slammed on the breaks and turned onto the road that led to the trailer. She could practically see smoke coming out of Shane's ears. She had been telling him for days that he needed to get out of the hospital, and when he didn't comply, she said he had to go to an event with her. As an added bonus for herself, she made him drive. She hadn't told him where they were going, because she knew he would refuse to go. It wouldn't be long now before he knew all.

"Sorry, just keeping Shane on course," she said to Owen. "Is that the Star Wars theme music I hear in the background?"

"Yep, the boys are watching one of the movies."

"Which one?"

"The first one."

"Please say you mean 'A New Hope' and not 'The Phantom Menace.'"

Owen was quiet for a moment. "Well, it's 'A New Hope,' of course."

"Oh good, at least they're being brought up to have good taste."

"Whoa, whoa, hold on," Owen said. "Have you been a Star Wars fan all these years and I never knew it?"

"Uh, yeah! It's not like I was hiding it or anything."

"You're going to be the death of me," she heard him mumble.

"Dr. Yang," Shane said. "What- what _is_ that?" They had driven into the clearing where Derek's trailer sat, or lay. The Shepherds hadn't decided its fate, so it was still lying on its back with its door pointed to the heavens. Shane parked the car a ways back from it.

"It's a trailer! Don't worry, it's not our final destination, but I am going to need your help." Owen had asked her to stop by the trailer and look through it one more time to see if he had left anything there. He hadn't been back there since the day he discovered its unfortunate state.

"How am I supposed to get in there?" she asked Owen. One of Cristina's ulterior motives for bringing Shane along was that Owen said she might need help getting in and out of the trailer, and now she could see why.

Owen described how he had climbed up on top of it to get in the door. They hung up and she got out of the car. "Come on, Shane!"

As they walked toward the trailer, Shane said, "The original three Star Wars were definitely the best, but for what it's worth, I didn't think 'Revenge of the Sith' was all that bad."

Cristina scoffed. "That's not worth much, Trekkie."

Shane stopped in his tracks. "Wha-? Uh, how did you know?"

"You named one of your interns 'Q,' now come on and climb up on this thing." Cristina climbed up on the trailer first as Owen had told her to and Shane quickly followed. They gingerly walked over to the front door.

Shane eyed her suspiciously. "If you're not a Trekkie, how do you know about 'Q?'"

"Ok, let's see if we can get this thing open." Cristina used the key Owen gave her to unlock the door and when the two of them opened the door, they were nearly knocked over by the smell of cleaning supplies. Just like Owen had said, there was a chair just below the opening. Shane helped her climb down onto it.

It took Cristina a moment to get her bearings in the sideways trailer. She wished she had brought a flashlight because it was pretty dark down there. After a moment, Cristina carefully stepped down off of the chair. It was seriously weird to be walking on the wall.

"Do you need to me to climb down there, too?" Shane called down to her.

"Nope. I've got this. You can just wait up there until I'm ready to get out."

"OK, he said. She heard him sit down a little ways from the door.

She called Owen back. "Okay, I'm in. Anything in particular I need to look for?"

"No. Between the firehouse and the trailer and now the Palladinos, I'm not entirely sure where all my stuff has ended up. I didn't have time to be very thorough that day."

She decided to start at one end of the trailer and work her way across it. She crawled through the opening that led to the bedroom area. "My god, Owen," she said. "I'll never understand how you lived in this thing for so long. I mean, I'm sorry this happened to the trailer, but you've got to admit you getting your own place is a silver lining."

"Oh!" Owen said, as if he had just thought of something.

"Oh, what?"

"You still need to see my new place! Do you want to go with me to see the house, tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" Cristina didn't have plans. She going to have to meet the kids Owen was caring for sooner or later. She was thinking that it might not be a bad idea to have the kids around as chaperones while he gave her the tour. She felt like it was important for them to keep their boundaries for the time being while they worked things out, but she also found herself fantasizing about falling into his arms pretty often these days. She'd just started thinking about how she had nearly jumped him in the scrub room earlier in the week, when Owen spoke.

"Yeah, I'm going to drop the kids off to visit their grandmother at the rehab center for couple hours tomorrow afternoon. They went there last weekend with their mom and there is a really nice rec room with a ping-pong table and stuff. They're looking forward to it."

"Oh!, Cristina said. "Their mom was here last weekend?"

"Yeah, she flies back to visit every other weekend."

Cristina was incredulous. "How come you didn't you tell me?"

"You never asked." He was right about that. She hadn't asked him about last weekend because she had assumed he was just hanging out with the kids. Now she was wondering what he had done on his own all last weekend, but it would have been awkward to ask him just then.

"What time?" she asked instead.

"Pick you up at 12:45? We can bring lunch with us, if you want."

"Yeah, okay, that sounds good." She had heard so much from him about the house during their lunches, she was actually anxious to see it. "I'm going to let you go now so I can look around in here. I'll give you whatever I find tomorrow."

"Great! Have fun at the barbeque. Say 'hi' to the Shepherds for me."

"You got it. Bye, Owen."

"Bye."

Cristina found a few odds and ends of Owen's stuff in the trailer: sock and a razor, among other things. She was making a final sweep through the trailer, when something sticking out from under one of the drawers that had fallen out of the dresser caught her eye. It was a little leather pouch that he kept some of his valuables in. She sat down on the wall and opened it.

First, she pulled out the tie clip that had been his grandfathers. It was gold and had an eagle flying off of it. There was also a tiny Swiss army knife that his dad gave him when he was a kid. The rest of the items were round. She remembered that he had a few unusual coins that he had acquired over the years. When she dumped them out into the palm of her hand, she got a shock. In amongst the coins was Owen's wedding ring. She felt like the world stopped as she sat and stared at it. She was overcome with emotion. She thought about the day she had put it on his finger and the day not so long ago that she had watched him take it off. She wiped a tear from her cheek. She'd loved being married to him. She understood why they had to end their marriage due to the lawsuit and even why Owen had seemed to need it for a new start, but deep down she wished they hadn't done it. She stared at the ring and got lost in memories.

"Are you okay down there, Dr. Yang?"

Cristina snapped out of her reverie and quickly put the items back in the pouch before shoving it in her pocket. "Coming right up!"

A little while later, Cristina found herself in Meredith's living room. The two of them had gone inside so Meredith could feed Zach. Meredith and Derek had invited a bunch of their friends over for a barbeque. They were both starved for adult interaction, but it was tough to get people to make the trip out to the woods. Finally, they had resorted to bribing people with food, as Cristina had bluntly put it, and the plan had worked.

From their vantage point by the window, they could see all the action. Derek and Alex were standing by the grill drinking beer and trying to act manly. Callie and April were sitting on a blanket by the sand box watching Zola and Sophia play. They were watching them like hawks to be sure they didn't ingest too much sand.

Shane and Richard were sitting on the porch deep in conversation. Cristina was glad to see that. Shane had nearly turned the car around and gone home when he realized they were at the Shepherd's house. Derek had hurt him deeply when he had told him he didn't have the right kind of talent to be a neuro surgeon. Shane pouted and refused to talk for about the first 30 minutes they were there, but now he looked relaxed. She was sure Webber was laying some good wisdom on him.

"I was surprised you showed up with him," Meredith said. "I'm pretty sure I said there were no residents allowed."

"It was a last second decision. His sickly I've-been-in-the-hospital-for-3-days-straight pallor was depressing me."

"Like you can talk. I've heard you are just as bad, lately."

"At least I make it a point to go outside once in a while and sit on a bench for a few minutes and get some fresh air! Did you know his group of residents hangs out by the dumpsters? The _dumpsters_, Meredith. It's bizarre and the air out there is not at all fresh!"

Meredith chuckled. After a moment, she said, "I really shouldn't have been surprised you brought him. You do have a history of bringing home strays."

Cristina scoffed. "I do?"

"You do. You brought Lexie to my house one night a long time ago she was a frazzled intern," Meredith said wistfully. "That was…that was the first time she danced it out with us. I know that you did that for her, but it helped me to start- to start to give her a chance."

"I did it for you, too," Cristina said. She watched her friend blink away tears as she stared out the window. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Meredith spoke again.

"Shane is lucky. He's really lucky that you've taken him under your wing. Lexie learned a lot from you. Not just medicine, either, you helped her build her confidence. She admired you so much."

Cristina didn't know what to say. She didn't think of herself as a particularly good teacher back then, but Lexie had been an amazing student. It suddenly occurred to Cristina that Meredith had probably been thinking a lot about Lexie since she had been secluded out here. When else would she have had time to grieve?

"Anyway," Meredith said brightly. "What's the latest on you and Owen?"

Cristina thought about the ring in her pocket. She didn't want to talk about that just yet. "Well," she said, "he invited me to go see his house."

"Reeeeally," Meredith said. "And when will that happen?"

"Tomorrow."

"Ooo, so you're going to meet the kids?"

"Nope, they're going to be visiting their grandmother."

"Huh," Meredith said. Zach had finished nursing and was fast asleep. Meredith rearranged her shirt then cradled him in her arms. "How is it going with them?"

"What do you mean?"

"Owen and the kids. Have they been getting along? Is it going okay so far?"

"I don't- I don't know."

"Doesn't he talk about it?"

"He doesn't- well, no, not really."

"Isn't that odd? I mean, isn't that kind of an important part of his whole plan thing- to decide if he wants kids? Why wouldn't he talk about it?"

"I don't ask!" Cristina said a little too loudly. "Okay? I don't ask because I know he's doing just fine- GREAT, in fact. It is totally natural for him. It's like-it's like-he's a frog and someone threw him in water! I don't ask. I don't need to." Cristina crossed her arms and turned her face away from Meredith.

Just then there was a commotion outside. Derek and all the others were running toward the sand box. April was holding Zola and Cristina could see blood spreading down her shirt. Cristina jumped out of her chair and ran outside. "Hey! Wait for me!" Meredith yelled after her as she went to lay Zach down.

As soon as she was outside, Cristina could hear Zola screaming. Derek was holding her now and was walking quickly toward the house. April and Callie, who was holding a screaming Sophia, were trailing behind him.

"What happened?!" she said as she met up with Derek, then fell in step with him.

"She tripped and hit her mouth on the edge of the sandbox," April said.

Meredith met them on the porch. As soon as she saw her, Zola lunged out of Derek's arms toward her. "Shhh, it's okay, baby," she said soothingly. Zola had buried her face in Meredith's neck and she tried to turn her so Derek could see into her mouth as she screamed. "Can you tell what happened?"

Derek put his hands on her cheeks. Cristina was standing beside him and craned her neck to try and get a look in her mouth. "Hey, hey, hey!" he said, softly. "I know it hurts, but you're okay, sweetie." Zola gradually stopped screaming as she stared into Derek's eyes. Alex handed him a paper towel and he wiped the blood from Zola's chin. The bleeding had slowed down significantly and after a few moments, Zola's breath was still jerky, but she was calm. She put her head on Meredith's shoulder and wrapped her arm tightly around her neck.

Everybody breathed a collective sigh of relief. "She bit her lip, but it doesn't look that bad," Derek said.

"That's where most of the blood came from, but she also knocked one of her teeth loose," Cristina chimed. "I'm pretty sure it needs to come out. You'll want to make an appointment with a dentist for Monday. Just feed her soft foods until then and give her some kind of over the counter pain med. I'd go ahead and extract it myself if I had the right tools." Everybody who had gathered around stared at her.

"So, what, are you a dentist now?" Alex said incredulously.

"Um, no," she said. "But, it's super easy. I've seen it done."

"Okay, then," Meredith said. "Come on Zola, let's get you get cleaned up. April, I'm assuming you'll want to borrow a fresh shirt?"

"Yes, please," April said gratefully.

Twenty minutes later, everybody had been cleaned up. Cristina and Meredith were back in their seats by the window, but now Meredith was cradling her older child, who had fallen asleep in her arms.

The people outside were grouped differently now. Richard was by the grill with Derek, no doubt giving him grilling advice. Callie and Alex were on the deck with Sophie, who was sitting at the table scribbling with crayons, and April and Shane were walking around the back yard, talking and laughing. The two of them got along really well. Shane hadn't complained at all about being on her service. Cristina figured it was because with Kepner, he got to do more surgery and less paperwork, but maybe it went deeper than that. Maybe he was destined to be a trauma surgeon.

Suddenly, the silence she and Meredith were sitting in started to feel awkward to Cristina. She thought about what she had said just before Zola got hurt. She knew that Owen was doing fine with the kids, because she knew him so well. If he was overly stressed out or having a bad time of it, she would be able to tell. He seemed normal, though. On the happy side of normal, actually. It was just as she predicted: he was a natural at it.

She could see out of the corner of her eye that Meredith staring at her. She was sure Meredith wanted to grill her on the Owen situation. She sighed. "Go ahead and ask."

"Twice," Meredith said. Cristina looked at her with surprise. "Twice recently you have offered to do procedures on my children that I'm pretty sure you're not qualified for!"

"Okay…"

"First, you offer to circumcise Zach, and now you want to extract Zola's tooth!"

"It's not that I _want_ to, per se, I just _could_…"

"Let me guess: this is also because of Saul, your not-really-a-dad step dad?"

"Yep. He was one of the top oral surgeons in Beverly Hills." She paused. She was about to admit something to Meredith she never had before. "He used to let me watch his surgery tapes."

Meredith chuckled. "Seriously?"

"Yes. While you were watching Ellis Grey do whipples, I was watching Saul Rubenstein extract wisdom teeth."

"Well, _I_ didn't really have a choice, but it's awesome that he let you do that. Between that and taking you to brises to watch circumcisions, which, I still can't believe, by the way, it sounds like he had something to do with you becoming a surgeon."

"Not- I mean, he didn't have anything to do with me wanting to be one." She had never had any interest in what Saul did until after her father's death.

"Well, it sounds like he at least encouraged your interest."

Cristina had never really thought about it that way before. "Yeah, he did," she said. She had always thought of Saul as her mother's husband. Saul was just always around. He didn't really interfere, but he did manage to act as a buffer between she and her mom, two very strong-minded females. "I think he partly did it to keep me out of my mom's hair. When my dad was alive, I only spent half of my time at their house. Once I was there full time…well, he kept she and I from killing each other."

"But you still wouldn't describe him as a parent?"

"No, he just…wasn't. He left all the parenting decisions and discipline and such to my mom, though I think he probably made some of his opinions known behind closed doors."

"Did you ever wish he was more dad-like?"

"No, I only had one dad. That's how I wanted it."

"Well," Meredith said, "you were lucky. I know that some people are made to handle single parenthood beautifully, but my mother was not one of them. I bore the full brunt of her crazy head on and no kid should have to do that. I wish she'd had someone to talk to behind closed doors and, you know, cart me off to inappropriate religious ceremonies to give her a break-"

"The ceremony itself was not inappropriate at all!"

"Whatever, count your blessings."

Cristina pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. She didn't know what to say, so she changed the subject. "So, you come back in two weeks?"

"Yep. I go back two weeks from Monday. Derek goes back two weeks after that."

"Good."

"So, you think Owen's going to decide he wants kids?"

Cristina sighed. "Yes. It's obvious and it's totally what I predicted."

"You predicted it?"

"Yes."

"Mmm-hmm," she said skeptically. "So, what about you?"

"What about _me_?"

"Yes. You agreed to his plan. You agreed to it apparently already knowing what he was going to figure out, so what about you? Have you figured anything out?" Cristina rested her forehead on her knees. Meredith continued, "Maybe the better question is what did you predict you would figure out?"

Cristina sighed. "I don't know. I thought that letting him go to be free to have the life he wanted was- was the best thing I could do for him. It's just- I want him. I want to be in his life, I just don't know how." She raised her head. "You should hear him when he mentions those kids. He always lights up. He's-he's all in, going home early to spend time with them and making tiny pizzas with them…"

"There's a place for you to fit in. Don't be afraid to explore it. Also, just because he's having a good time right now doesn't mean-"

"Trust me," Cristina said. "I know him."

Meredith shook her head. "I don't get the point of this plan if you already know everything and you don't talk about anything."

"We can, we will, I'm just- we're just-"

"You're scared."

"I'm not ready quite yet."

Just then, Derek popped his head in the door. "We're almost ready to eat!" he said.

The rest of the day was spent laughing and talking with the group, but the whole time, her conversation with Meredith was nagging at Cristina in the back of her mind. She had nothing to be afraid of, she kept telling herself. If she wasn't afraid, then there wasn't any reason to avoid the topic. She would ask him about the kids tomorrow. _I can do this_, became her mantra.

Owen picked Cristina up right on time. Cristina had spent all night and all morning telling herself she had no reason to be nervous, but as soon as she saw his truck pull up in front of Alex's house, she had butterflies in her stomach.

They stopped and got food from their favorite Tai restaurant, then headed to the house. When they got there, Owen hopped out of the truck to come around and open her door for her. When he gave her his hand to help her down, she felt a little chill go up her spine. They rarely ever touched these days and it never went without notice. Once she was safely on the ground, he gestured toward the house. "So, what do you think?" he said.

Cristina made a conscious effort not to let her jaw drop open. "It's bigger than I expected." Cristina realized that she must have tuned Owen out when he was talking about the house more than she thought. She had missed the fact that it was three stories high.

"Oh, yeah?" Owen said.

"Yeah," Cristina replied. "Also, it's, uh, yellow."

"It is," Owen said crossing his arms and turning toward it with a critical eye. "I've gone back and forth on whether or not I want to repaint it. It was white then I was a kid."

"When you were a kid?" Cristina asked, turning toward him.

"Yeah, I used to ride my bike down this street on my way to my best friend's house. I always liked this house."

"You remember it?"

"Sure! You've got to admit it stands out."

Cristina looked up and down the street. He was right. The other house were also large, but they were much more modern. This one was Victorian style, with a huge wrap-around porch on the first level and a matching one nearly as big on the second. It was quite yellow, with white trim and accents.

"So anyway, I've been debating on the color, because it _is_ a little bright. I could take it back to plain white, or maybe gray, but then I think this color is growing on me."

Cristina was staring at it intently. Suddenly she was speaking what she was thinking. "It's…the color of urine from the healthiest of kidneys."

"What?!" Owen said, bursting out laughing.

"That's not- hey, that's not a bad thing!"

"Oh, I'm definitely changing it, now."

"What? No, you don't have to! Don't mind me."

"It's perfectly alright," Owen said with a chuckle. "Come on, let's eat on the front porch. It's a beautiful day and I don't have a table, yet." The two of them sat on chairs that were on the porch and enjoyed their food. They chatted about the usual things. They covered some hospital business, then she filled him in on the barbeque.

"Oh!" She said suddenly, "Here's your stuff!" In addition to her purse, she had been carrying a bag containing the objects she had found in the trailer. Most of them, anyway. She handed Owen the bag and subconsciously held her breath as he looked through it.

"Yep, just as I thought: bunch of random junk. Thank you for doing that."

Cristina released her breath. "No problem!" She had not given Owen back the small leather pouch and she was relieved that he didn't miss it. She wasn't ready to let go of his wedding ring, just yet.

Their topics of conversation never got around to the kids, but Cristina was still determined to bring them up.

When they were done eating, they started the tour. First, he showed her the outside of the house. It was clear that it hadn't had the best maintenance in recent years, but the parts that had been worked on so far looked really nice. She loved the backyard with its nice shady trees.

Finally, it was time to go into the house. Before opened the door, Owen paused. "There a lot of construction going on in here right now."

"I can handle it."

"Remember the first month we were in the firehouse?" Cristina had nearly lost her mind that first month with all the dust and painting and other annoyances that came with remodeling.

"Ugg, yes that was horrible!" She exclaimed. Owen looked a tiny bit taken aback. "I just mean the remodeling part was horrible, of course," she added quickly.

"No," Owen said, "that's okay. You were going through an extremely difficult time back then." It was true. Cristina had been deep in the throws of her PTSD, unable to go in the OR and questioning her future as a doctor. She had probably gone over-the-top with complaining about the remodeling at the time, because it was a distraction from the bigger issues she was dealing with. Through it all, Owen was always there to make her feel safe and he had been incredibly patient with her.

"I never would have survived it if it weren't for you."

Owen smiled, "Oh, come one, it wasn't THAT dusty!"

Cristina laughed, "You know what I meant."

"I do,'" he said, They looked in each others eyes for a long moment, then he turned and put his hand on the doorknob. "So, are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be!" Cristina said.

It indeed reminded her of the firehouse only on a much larger scale. There was no furniture. The living room was half painted and it appeared that it was the holding place for debris. The kitchen was totally gutted. All the cabinets had been torn out and there was a half-finished island in the middle of it. Eventually, they made it to the back of the house, which was where the most serious construction was going on.

"I decided to move the master bedroom down here," he said. "The previous owner used the den back here as a bedroom, so I decided to expand it to include the space that used to be the office and build in a proper bathroom. There was previously just a half bath on this floor." There was stuff in the way, so she couldn't go look out of it, but Cristina could tell the windows had a nice view of the back yard. The master bathroom was totally blocked off.

The second floor had two bedrooms, a living space that would be converted to an office, and a master bedroom that would be converted to a large casual living space. There was an air mattress on the floor of one of the bedrooms.

"Is that where you slept last weekend?" she said incredulously.

"Yeah," he said. He laughed at the expression on her face. "Don't look so horrified! What did you think I was sleeping on at the firehouse?"

"A bed!" she exclaimed. She figured he would have bought himself one by now.

"It's on order," he said with a smile. "It'll be ready by the time the master bedroom is done."

"What is it being custom made or something?" she asked half-joking.

"Yep," he said with a cheeky grin.

"Owen Hunt, I'm intrigued!"

"Mm-hmm, you'll have to stay that way for a while, yet," he said as he led her out of the room.

"Tease," she mumbled.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Never mind. So, what did you do here all by your lonesome last weekend?" she asked as they climbed the stairs to the third floor.

"Oh, I wasn't lonesome for much of it. I spent a lot of time with Ken going over plans for the house. He was kind enough to do on the weekend since my time is so limited. You remember Ken who worked on the firehouse?"

"Yep," Cristina said. At the time she had called him OhmygodtheykilledKenny to Meredith, but never to Owen.

The third floor had two small bedrooms. He led her into the one on the right first. "This is going to be the music room. I'll keep my guitar up here and also set up my drum kit."

"You have a drum kit?"

"Yep. It's been in the attic at my mom's for way too long."

"Are you sure you don't want to use one of the rooms on the second floor?" This was the first of the bedrooms Owen had told her his plans for. The rest of them, he had just described as bedrooms.

"Yep," he said. "I figure up here the noise won't bother anyone-"

"Your music never bothered me!" She used to love it when she would come home and find him strumming away on his guitar.

Owen smiled broadly. "I know," he said, "but this room also has this amazing view." She followed him over to the window. You could see downtown Seattle over the treetops.

"Wow," she said.

"It's even more beautiful at sunset." The two of them stood side-by-side and looked out the window for a long moment. She had to admit it was a spectacular view.

"This is a great house, Owen. I really, I can see why you love it and I think I can see where you're going with it."

Owen turned toward her and smiled. "I'm glad."

"It's a big house."

"It is. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do with all of the space, yet."

"Really?" she asked.

Owen looked back out the window for a long moment. "Really," he finally said.

His response was not terribly convincing. As they stood in silence, she decided to ask the question she had been worrying over for the last 24 hours. She took a deep breath, "So, how is it going with the kids?"

"Really well. They're a lot of fun," Owen said. Cristina nodded. She was trying to think of a follow-up question when he spoke again. "We ran into Ethan yesterday."

"Seriously?" she said.

"Yeah. He's on Nick's flag football team. He was there with his dad."

"Wow. How did he look?"

"Paul?"

"Yeah."

"Just fine. Physically, anyway. There was a sadness about him, though."

"Well, I'm sure. He lost his wife."

"Yeah." Owen gave her a significant look and she got goose bumps. Her mind jumped to his ring, which she was holding on to for safekeeping, or so she told herself.

"How about Ethan?" she asked.

"I only saw him for a minute, but he seemed okay."

"Hmm," she said. "I hope so. That's- it's really tough, what he's going through." Cristina knew too well what he was going through. She could still feel the pain of losing her father acutely at times. She wrapped her arms around herself. Owen hesitated, then stepped over to her and put his arms around her. After a moment, when she rested her head on his shoulder, he stroked her hair. They stood like that for several minutes, neither of them speaking. Cristina felt safe and peaceful and she didn't want it to end, but finally, she pulled back. "Thank you."

"Of course," he replied, stepping back.

Cristina sighed. "Well, I'm glad you're having a good time with the kids."

Owen nodded. "We're getting along really well." He dropped his eyes to the floor. He was acting like he was examining something on the top of his shoe, but she was sure he was working up the courage to say something.

"When I- Seeing Ethan just-" He sighed. "I'm getting along great with the boys and I got along great with Ethan. Last night I was thinking, Ethan is a great kid- a really great kid, but I wonder if part of what I- reason I was thinking-"

"If it was less about him and more about his situation?" Owen nodded. "He was-It looked like he was going to be in dire straights," she said. "With his father not responding and his grandmother not willing to take him and nobody stepping up… It wouldn't take much of a savior complex to want to help him and you've got a huge one."

"Hey!" he said in mock offense. She smiled at him warmly. It made sense. On the one hand, him wanting to jump in and save Ethan, really was probably about wanting to step in and save the day. On the other hand, he was seeing what normal everyday life was like with kids and was enjoying it.

"So what do you think that means? Going forward, I mean," she said.

"I'm not sure, yet," Owen said. Cristina believed him.

A little while later, Owen dropped Cristina back at Alex's house. After they said their goodbyes and she started to leave, she stopped and spun around.

"Hey!" She said.

"Yeah?" Owen was just about to climb back in the truck. He had hopped out to open her door.

"Am I still invited to pizza night on Wednesday?"

"Of course!" he said with a huge smile.

She smiled back. "Great. I'm putting it on my calendar for this week."

"Sounds good. Lunch tomorrow?"

"Of course!" she replied. She was smiling from ear to ear as she walked toward the house.

When she walked in the house, Alex was sitting on the couch in the living room watching TV. "Hey Dr., uh, Colgate!" he said awkwardly.

Cristina laughed. "Is that the best you can do?" she called as she walked up the stairs.

"Dr.- Dr.-"

"Just give it up, Alex!" she called from the top of the stairs.

Cristina went into her and shut the door. She got Owen's leather patch out of her drawer and sat on the bed. She would have to give it back to him eventually._ Once he realizes it's not at the firehouse, he might get worried,_ she thought_. But if I give it back to him now I'll have to explain why I kept it._

She fished his ring out of the pouch and put it in the palm of her hand. She couldn't put the reason she kept it into words just then, she just knew that she needed to have it. She felt like they had made good progress that day. She lay down on the bed and drifted off to sleep feeling more hopeful than she had in a long time.


	7. Pizza Night

A/N: The next chapter got REALLY long, so I decided to split it in half, which means the chapter that follows this one is practically done and will be posted very soon! Thanks again for reading! :)

* * *

Owen was nervous. He couldn't help it. Cristina was coming over for pizza night and he wanted, or more accurately, needed it to go well. He left the hospital extra early to go to the grocery store and get extra toppings for the pizzas they would be making. Heidi had hired someone to come in and clean the house once a week, but the night before he had found himself re-cleaning everything. The house was completely spotless. He wore a blue t-shirt, because he knew that she liked it when he wore blue. He even put a fresh shirt on Tony, because he had gotten a spot of something nefarious-looking on it.

The boys finished their homework in record time. They seemed to have picked up on Owen's excitement. As the time of her arrival got closer, Tony, whose family nickname was Tigger, got bouncier and bouncier, while Nick, who had a definite tendency to be shy, got tenser and tenser. Fifteen minutes before she was set to arrive, Owen walked into the living room and found Nick sitting on the floor in the corner behind the couch with his arms wrapped around his knees and Tony dancing around and singing to a song he was making up as he went along. As soon as Owen realized one of the lyrics was "Miss Tina," he realized he had to act fast to get them to act normal. They were rapidly devolving into unflattering caricatures of themselves.

"Hey, guys!" he said, clapping his hands together once, loudly. Tony stopped in his tracks and Nick looked up at him. "Cristina's not going to be here for a while, yet, so if you want, you can go play Minecraft on the tablet until she gets here."

Nick sprang to his feet. "OK!" He said as he ran from the room.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Tony yelled as he followed his brother.

"Take turns!" Owen yelled after them. Owen smiled to himself as he sat on the couch. Minecraft was their favorite game and would be a perfect distraction. Their playing time had to be strictly enforced, because if allowed, they would play for hours on end. Owen was sure they would sit right down on the floor in the study where the tablet was kept because they couldn't be bothered to take the time to leave the room before starting to play.

Owen took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He went through his to-do list in his mind and made sure he hadn't forgotten anything. The only thing left to do now was wait for her to arrive.

Overall, Owen felt good about where he and Cristina were. He felt like they had made some progress over the weekend. They had talked on a deeper level than they had in a while, and she had agreed to come to pizza night. Owen thought about the conversation they had in the music room at his house. He had told her about the encounter with Ethan and about the epiphany he had regarding the Ethan situation.

It had happened Saturday night when he was thinking back on the day. When Owen thought about the encounter with Ethan and it occurred to him that while they may not have clicked as quickly, he got along with the Palladinos just as well as he did with Ethan. He had been so sure that there was something special about Ethan that had triggered something in him, but now he thought that he might have wanted to help any other kid in the same situation.

It wasn't exactly a comforting realization. He had gotten caught up in the moment and completely uprooted his life, for one thing. Now, he was sure that if Ethan's dad had died, the two of them would have gotten along just fine, but would it have been the right decision to make? That question kept nagging at him, because while he was sure he could have handled the situation better, especially where Cristina was concerned, wasn't entirely sure whether or not adopting Ethan would have been the right choice.

Saturday had been a really good day, but the other thing he found as he went over it in his mind was that he couldn't help wondering how Cristina would have fit into it. He was pretty sure she wouldn't have wanted to go to the flag football practice, which was fine. He had kind of gotten her interested in baseball, but overall, sports were not her thing, so that was no big deal. After flag football, they had watched a movie, Star Wars, which apparently, she would have loved. He had never known she was a fan until the day before. Later, he had taken the boys to a birthday party for Tony's friend, Ian. Owen had a fine time chatting with the parents of the other kids at the party, but he could only imagine how Cristina would have rolled her eyes and been utterly bored by their idle chatter. It would have been best to leave her home for that one.

Saturday evening, Nick had to practice for his guitar lesson on Monday, so Owen had gotten his guitar out and they played through Nick's assignments together. Afterward, Owen showed Nick how to play a couple of simple songs that were at his skill level. All the while, Tony was occupied by trying to build a life-sized robot out of Legos. When Nick and Owen were done with their guitars, they helped him. In the end, the robot came up to Tony's chin. Cristina would have liked hearing them play their guitars, and he was pretty sure she would have gotten into the challenge of building the robot. After the kids were in bed, she and him would have some much needed alone time. If they were a couple, he had no doubt where that would lead… It had been a good day, but it would have been better with her there.

Just then, the doorbell rang. It startled Owen and when he stood up and walked toward the door, his heart was pounding. He paused for a moment to collect himself before he opened the door.

"Hey!"

"Hey, yourself!" Cristina replied. She had on her leather jacket and a black top with jeans. She was wearing her hair down and flowing. She looked gorgeous. "Um, can I come in?"

"Of course!" Owen said with an embarrassed chuckle. He had been standing there admiring her and forgot to let her in. He stepped back so she could pass by him, then helped her take off her jacket.

"Nice place you've got, here."

Owen smiled as he hung the jacket in the coat closet. "I wish my own place was this put together."

Cristina smiled back and surveyed the room. "It is incredibly clean in here."

"Yeah, well," Owen thought about Cristina's messy tendencies, "I just wanted to be sure you did NOT feel right at home here."

Cristina laughed. "Oh come on, you've got to admit that I've gotten neater over the years…"

"- but…."

"-but this is like a Stepford house."

Owen chuckled. "Would you like to meet the Stepford children?"

Cristina put on a blank expression and cocked her head to one side. "Why, of course, darling," she said in a high-pitched voice.

Owen grabbed her shoulders, put his face inches from hers, and said very seriously. "I know you're joking, but please don't ever do that again." Cristina tried to keep a straight face, but before she could even try to give a response, she burst out laughing and Owen soon followed. He released his hold on her shoulders as they laughed, because he had an overwhelming urge to pull her close and claim her lips. They laughed for a few more moments before Owen turned serious again. "Okay, but seriously, I mean it!"

"Okay, okay, so where are the little crumb-crunchers?"

"Follow me!" Owen led Cristina down the hallway to the office. Just as he predicted, the kids were sitting on the floor in front of the desk with their eyes glued to the tablet. "Hey, guys!" Owen said. "Look who's here!" Tony glanced up, but Nick's eyes never left the screen.

"Miss Tina?" Tony said absentmindedly, still enthralled by his brother's game.

"Uh, yeah. CRIStina," Owen said. He walked over to the boy and patted him gently on the head. "Come on over and say, 'hi.'"

Tony tore his eyes from the screen and walked over and stood in front of Cristina. "I'm Tony," he said, extending his hand to her. Cristina took his hand and shook it.

"I'm Cristina," she replied.

"Nice to meet you! Uncle Owen, how much longer do we get to play?"

"Time's up, time for dinner. Come on, Nick. Shut it off."

Nick sighed, then shut the tablet down and put it back in its place on the desk. He stood up and Owen followed him over to the door where Cristina and Tony were standing. After a moment of awkward silence, Tony spoke up. "That's my brother, Nick."

"Nice to meet you, Nick," Cristina said.

"You, too," Nick said to his shoes. Owen hadn't expected Nick to be quite that shy, but he was sure he would warm up.

"Okay," Owen said. "Let's get our pizzas going." They went to the kitchen and Owen pulled all the toppings he had prepared out of the refrigerator and lined them on the counter. He opened up the package of 4 small pizza crusts and put them on plates. He spread sauce on one and handed it to Cristina. "Ladies, first," he said with a smile.

"Mmm, how about youngest first?" Cristina replied. Tony was standing next to her bouncing with anticipation.

"Okay, then Tony, you're up!" Owen said as he handed him his plate. They all walked down the line and got the toppings they wanted. The kids didn't recognize some of the more unusual things he had bought, like feta cheese and banana peppers.

"Bananas and pepper just sounds like a really gross combination," Nick said.

"Well, they got the banana part of their name because they are yellow like bananas so they look kind of like them. And they are a type of pepper, but not as in salt and pepper," Cristina explained.

"Why do they call it pepper? Does pepper have peppers in it?"

"Yep," Cristina said. "Pepper is made from a special type of pepper that is dried out then ground up. These don't taste like that kind of pepper, though."

"Cool!" Nick said. He took one slice of banana pepper and put it on his pizza. Owen couldn't help grinning. Cristina was using a teacher-like tone of voice. He could tell she felt a little bit awkward, but he loved her for making the effort.

The oven could only fit two pizzas at a time, so they baked the kid's pizzas and let them start eating first. By the time Cristina and Owen's pizzas were ready, the kids were almost done with theirs.

Owen noticed that Tony kept giving his pizza suspicious glances from across the table. Finally, he had to ask. He pushed his plate closer to Tony, so he could see it better. "Do you have a question about my pizza, Tony?"

Tony paused for a moment, almost looking fearful, then pointed to something on Owen's pizza. "What is that?" he asked.

"That is a kalamata olive."

"Are you sure?" Tony said, clearly not convinced.

"I'm sure," Owen said with a smile. "You're used to seeing olives sliced so they look like circles. I cut these long-ways." That particular olive was larger than the others, so it stood out more, but Owen didn't think there was particularly strange about it.

"Okay," Tony said, clearly unconvinced. He watched Owen like a hawk as the meal progressed. Finally, Owen got around to eating the piece the olive in question on it. When he took a bite of it, Tony shrieked. "EWW HE ATE IT!"

Owen clapped his hand over his mouth, because he almost burst our laughing and he had to finish chewing the bite. Owen looked across the table at Cristina. She was covering her face and her shoulders were shaking with suppressed laughter. Cristina recovered first. "What did you think that was, Tony?"

Tony leaned toward her and said in his most deadly serious voice, "It was a bug."

Owen chuckled. "It was an olive, buddy. I promise. Why would I eat a bug? Haven't I been telling you lately that we don't eat bugs?"

Tony dropped his shoulders in disappointment. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Well, _we_ may not eat bugs, but some people do," Cristina piped up after a moment.

"What?" the boys, including Owen said in unison.

"It's true. About 80% of the world's cultures eat bugs."

"Seriously?!" Tony said, getting up on his knees to lean toward her even more.

"Hey! Bottom on the chair, please," Owen said. Tony sat back down.

"Yes," Cristina continued. "They are a great source of protein." Owen's eyes got wide. What on earth was she doing? He started subtly shaking his head back and forth and hoping she would look at him.

"In fact, without knowing it, you eat-"

"Um, what Cristina means is that- is that-" he didn't know how to continue, but he had an idea that she was going to say that 'without knowing it, we eat bugs every day,' which was probably true, but he didn't want that thought running through the boys' heads, just now.

Cristina winked at Owen. "Of course what I mean is that it's important that you only eat bugs that are edible AND you have to make sure you prepare them properly." Owen sighed. It wasn't quite the dismissal of the topic he hoped for, but what could he do. She continued. "There are quite a lot of bugs that are edible, actually."

"Likewhatlikewhatlikewhat?!" Tony said.

Cristina looked at Owen. He was sure he looked freaked out. He just didn't want any more bug eating incidents, but he knew she had to give an honest answer.

She pondered the question for a moment. "Liiiike roly-polys," She said.

"Oh," Tony said, slumping back in his chair. "I ate one of those once. It was so gross."

"I bet. See, you have to prepare them properly so they taste better."

"Yeah," Tony said. He crossed his arms and sulked.

"How do you know so much about eating bugs?" Nick asked.

Cristina looked taken aback. "Oh, well, I just did some research."

"Why?"

"I was just curious, so, Owen, does pizza night come with dessert?" Suddenly she was the one looking like she needed to be rescued. Owen was happy to oblige, though he wanted to know the real answer to Nick's question, himself.

"Yes, indeed! I bought ice cream. We have 3 kinds to pick from, tonight."

The promise ice cream sufficiently distracted the kids from the topic of eating bugs. They spent the rest of the meal debating the merits of the ice creams Owen had bought: chocolate chip cookie dough, rocky road, and strawberry cheesecake. After they enjoyed their eventual selections, they cleared all the food related items from the table and set up Monopoly. There were a variety of activities Owen and the boys would do after dinner on pizza night, but Owen had coached the boys that playing games would be a good activity for this particular night. Cristina was very competitive and loved games, so he was sure she would enjoy it.

It didn't take long Owen to see that he was right. Nick was just as competitive as Cristina and the two of them started wheeling and dealing very early on. Owen had teamed up with Tony and the two of them were frequently petitioned for property trades. The two of them would discuss the merits of the deal, then Owen would let Tony make the final decision. It didn't take long before they were low on funds, and right around Tony's bedtime, one of Cristina's monopolies finally bankrupted them.

After they handed over the last of their money, Cristina leaned over and tousled Tony's hair. "Sorry, little guy."

Tony shrugged. "I always lose this game." Owen felt bad. He felt like he should have tried to direct their game play more.

"Well, it's a tough game. I bet you get better every time you play." Cristina smiled at him, then at Owen.

"He does," Nick added. Tony grinned. He idolized his big brother, so those two words perked him right up.

"Well, this was actually good timing, because it's your bedtime, Tony," Owen said.

Tony turned to Owen and clasped his hands together. "Pleaseohpleaseohpleaae can I stay up and see who wins? Pleaseohplease?"

Everyone stared at Owen as he thought for a moment. "Tell you what," he said, leaning toward Tony. "You can stay up a little longer if go put your pjs on and brush your teeth, real quick."

"Yeah!" Tony sprang from his chair and ran to the back of the house. When he came back five minutes later, he sat on Owen's lap. Five minutes after that, he was fast asleep.

Nick and Cristina battled it out for about 30 more minutes. They were pretty evenly matched, but Nick had a slight edge because Tony had been a little freer in dealing with him, so he had more property. Finally, it came to the point that whoever landed on the other's final monopoly first, would be out. After two tense rounds of the board, Cristina finally landed on Marvin Gardens. She turned in the last of her houses and mortgaged her remaining property. Cristina pouted out her bottom lip as she counted out all her money to give him. She was left with $4. Nick was smiling from ear–to-ear.

"Well-played, sir," she said.

"You, too!" Nick replied.

"Okay, you know the rules, Nick," Owen said. "Winner picks up. When you're done it'll be time for you to head to bed."

"Okay!" Nick said. Owen stood up with Tony to go carry him to bed. As he was leaving the room, he heard Nick say, "You don't have to help."

"I don't mind," Cristina replied.

Owen smiled as he carried Tony to his room. Tony stirred when Owen laid him down. He cracked his eyes open and said, "Who won?"

"Nick," Owen said.

"Yay," Tony muttered as he rolled over and went back to sleep. Owen looked around the room. In his rush to get changed for bed, Tony had flung his clothes all over the room. Owen picked them up and put them in the hamper. He stopped by the boys' bathroom on his way down the hall and saw that Tony had left a bit of a mess there, too. He had left his toothbrush and toothpaste, with the cap off, on the counter and there was water everywhere. Somehow, he had even managed to get toothpaste on the mirror. Owen put everything away and wiped down the counter and mirror. When he got to the living room, Nick and Cristina were by the coat closet. Cristina was on her tiptoes trying to put the game back on the shelf inside it.

He walked up behind her. "Here, let me get that," he said. He easily pushed it into place. "Time to say goodnight, Nick."

"Goodnight!" Nick said. "Thanks for playing a game with us."

"No problem," Cristina said.

"I'll come back in a minute to say goodnight," Owen said to him.

"Okay!" Nick turned and walked toward the back of the house. Owen smiled as he walked away. Nick was downright chipper after his big win. Owen turned toward Cristina and was surprised to see her reaching into the closet to get her coat.

"Are you leaving, now?" he said. He had hoped she would stay and talk for a little while.

"Yeah," Cristina said. She was avoiding making eye contact with him.

"Is everything okay? Did something happen?" Clearly something had rattled her.

"No," she said as she started to pull her coat on. "I'm just tired." Owen didn't believe her. He knew there had to be something else going on, but she as so intent on leaving, he didn't want to push. He stepped over and helped on with her coat. As he did, one of his fingers brushed her arm. He was acutely aware of the skin-on-skin contact. He felt like it left a mark.

"Well, thank you for coming," he said. "I think the boys really enjoyed having you here. I know I did."

"Yeah, it was a lot of fun," Cristina said warmly. Owen knew she was being sincere, but something still seemed off about her.

They walked over to the door and Owen opened it for her. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

Cristina paused before stepping over the threshold. "Yes. I- We'll talk tomorrow at lunch, okay?"

Owen smiled and nodded. "Okay." She stepped out the door and Owen closed it behind her. He was just about to turn the lock when his beeper started going off. He had just finished reading the message when there was a knock at the door. He reopened it.

"What are you going to do?" Cristina asked, glancing down at her pager. There had been an accident involving two busses. The ER was about to be flooded with patients. It was definitely an all hands on deck situation.

"I'll call my mom and she'll come spend the night and get the kids off to school in the morning." So far, Owen had only had to call on him mom to help out a couple times when he had to stay late at the hospital. The Palladinos had no problem with her helping out in situations like that, or like this.

"You go," Cristina said. "You've got to get there as quickly as possible. I'll stay here until she gets here."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely, it's more important that you get there first. Do you want me to call your mom?"

"No, I can do that on my way." Owen turned and strode back into the house. He found Nick in the bathroom brushing his teeth.

"Hey, Nick. I've got to go to the hospital for a while. Cristina is going to stay here for a little while until my mom gets here. I hope I'll be back before you wake up in the morning, but I'm not sure."

"Alright," Nick said, after he rinsed out his mouth.

Owen turned to leave and Nick followed. Cristina was standing in the hallway. She pointed at Nick. "Is he-? Do I need to-?"

"Nope, he's all set." Owen registered a bit of relief on Cristina's face.

"Okay, then," she said. "Goodnight, Nick."

"Goodnight, Cristina. Goodnight Uncle Owen." Owen patted the boy on the shoulder as turned and went into his room. Cristina followed Owen back out to the living room. Owen grabbed his jacket from the closet, then turned Cristina.

"Thank you so much for doing this," he said. Without even thinking, he leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek. They both froze. There was an awkward air between them and he thought Cristina's cheeks looked flushed. Then, she sprang to action.

"No problem, now, go ahead and get going!" She opened the door for him and shooed him out of it.

Owen called his mom on the bluetooth in this truck. She said she could be at the house within 20 minutes.

By the time Owen got to the hospital, the first ambulances had already arrived. He quickly threw on a trauma gown and took over for April, who had been meeting the ambulances. It seemed like there was a never-ending stream of patients. There were a lot of broken bones and also a lot of burns. One of the busses had been carrying a group of senior citizens, and the other, a high school band. The mass of confusion only got worse when the parents started to arrive.

Finally, the last ambulance they were going to get from the scene arrived. It was a young man who had been trapped. It had taken them a long time to extract him and he was in terrible shape. Owen took him to get a full body scan and found that he had massive internal injuries and several broken bones. Owen was waiting for the patient to come out of the Lodux when Cristina suddenly appeared at his side.

"Hey! Perfect timing," he said. "This guy is a mess, I can use your help"

"Okay!" Cristina said. She stepped over to the monitor to look at the scan. "Holy crap, you weren't kidding." They transferred the patient to a gurney and rushed up to the OR.

It felt like it took them forever stop the bleeding. As soon as they stopped one bleeder, another cropped up somewhere else. Owen felt like his hands were flying, until the patient finally stabilized. He and Cristina breathed a sigh relief in unison when they heard the monitors finally start to make the sounds of normal heartbeat.

It took them a few hours to finish up the repairs. The patient would need a couple more surgeries to return to almost normal functioning, but overall, they had been remarkably successful given the patient's condition when they started.

They finally went to the scrub room at about 4 am. They stood next to each other in silence as they scrubbed out. The nurses and other OR staff kept walking through and coming in to grab supplies, but Owen barely heard them. He was still coming down from the rush he'd gotten from being in the OR. He replayed some of the key moments of the surgery in his mind to see if there was anything he could have or should have done differently. He barely came up with anything and that gave him a welcome feeling of satisfaction. Suddenly, he was aware that the scrub room had gone quiet. The OR had cleared out and Cristina had finished scrubbing out and had dried her hands. She was leaning against the sink with her arms crossed looking down at her feet. Owen shut his water off and grabbed a towel.

"It's been a long time since we've been in the OR together," Cristina said.

Owen nodded. "It's been a long time since I've been in an OR period," he said as he tossed his towel in the bin. He tried to avoid surgery that would make him late for looking after the kids, and that meant he had to avoid most surgeries.

Cristina shook her head. "That is really a shame, you know. You were on fire tonight! Did you see the size of the audience we had in the gallery?"

Owen shook his head. "I never even looked up."

"Well, if you had you would have seen a lot of dropped jaws. You put on a very impressive display."

Owen smiled and shook his head. "You were right there with me."

"More like trying to keep up," Cristina said with smile.

He opened the door for her and they started walking down the hall together. He needed to stop by his office before heading back to the house. He figured Cristina would leave him at the first empty on-call room they came across. He glanced over at her. She didn't seem troubled at all anymore like she had been at the house earlier. After a few moments, he decided to ask her about it. "Can I ask you something?" he said.

"Sure," Cristina replied.

"I felt like we had a really good time tonight."

"Okay, that's not a question, but, yeah, we did," Cristina said. "Even though I hate losing!" Owen chuckled. "And to an eleven year-old!" she continued. "I'm going to need a rematch."

Owen felt like his smile might break his face. She was thinking about coming back. "Well, I think you might need to get in good with Tony, so he'll make more deals with you."

Cristina stopped walking, crossed her arms, and looked at him seriously. "How do I do that?" Owen shook his head. Cristina Yang always took winning deadly seriously.

"Well, you can keep talking to him about eating bugs, for one thing." Owen gave her a stern look.

Cristina laughed and started walking again. "You should have seen your face!"

"I can imagine," he said, trying to sound glum. It was getting harder and harder for him to keep a straight face.

"Oh, come on," she said, bumping her shoulder into his arm. "It was educational! From the look on your face you would have thought I was giving them tips on how to cook meth!"

Owen finally chuckled. Cristina lightly punched him in the arm.

They got to the end of the hall and turned. They were walking at a leisurely pace, like they would if they were in a park on a nice day. For Owen's part, he knew would be parting ways soon, and he wanted to prolong their walk as long as he could.

"Um, about that," he said.

"I won't teach you to cook meth either, Owen."

He chuckled, "No, no, no, I mean…the edible bugs. Was that- why did you do research on that?"

Cristina stared straight ahead and kept walking. "I just…thought it might be a good idea to brush up on my survival skills."

Owen was puzzled for a moment, but then it dawned on him. "Because of the plane crash?" he said. Cristina nodded. Owen's heart sank. "That's- I mean, that's understandable," he said.

Cristina nodded again. "I can build a fire and find water, now, too." She glanced over at Owen. He must have looked surprised because she added, "I had a lot of spare time while I was in Minnesota."

"Yeah," Owen said. Just then, they came across an on-call room. Cristina knocked gently on the door, then listened. When she didn't hear anything, she tried the knob, but it was locked.

"Darn," she said.

Owen shrugged. They walked a little further in silence.

"Is that what you wanted to ask me?" Cristina said. Owen gave her a confused look. "Right after we left the scrub room, you asked if you could ask me-"

"Oh, right. That's right," he said. The direction of the conversation had gotten away from him. "I'm really- I'm so glad that you had a good time tonight. It seemed like you did and the boys did, and I definitely did." Cristina smiled at him. "-And I know you said we would talk about this at lunch tomorrow, but I was wondering why you decided to leave when you did. It seemed a little abrupt."

Cristina looked up at the ceiling, then down at her arms, which were crossed.

"If you want to wait until lunch, that's fine-"

"No, it's okay," Cristina said. "I just- while you were putting Tony into bed, I asked Nick what other things he liked to do on pizza night. He said he likes it when you play music- with your guitars and stuff. Also, he said likes it when you play sports in the backyard or… or when you watch Star Trek episodes."

"Okay…" Owen said. He really couldn't see where she was going with this.

"He said you guys have been watching Star Trek: The Next Generation and- and I used to watch that with my dad when I was a kid."

"Oh," Owen said.

"So, I just- I don't know, I felt like being alone, right then. It just…I'm not sure why, but it caught me off guard. I'm sorry if you thought I- that I had a bad time."

Owen knew that Cristina was very sensitive when it came to the topic of her father. In fact, Owen knew very little about him, because she never talked about him. He was a little surprised by the intensity of her reaction, but he supposed it made sense.

"No don't-don't worry about it," he said. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I am," Cristina said, giving him a smile. They got to the elevators and Owen pushed the down button.

"It was- it's a happy memory, right?"

Cristina thought for a moment. "It is. It definitely is. It just is happy and then it's sad, but I'm okay, now."

Owen nodded. He understood loss. He had lost his own father, who had died in his sleep from a stroke when Owen was in Med school. He missed him and he thought about him all the time, but Cristina's grief for her father was different. It was almost something more akin to how he felt about his unit. It had been years since he had been the only survivor of an attack that killed them all, but he still found it difficult to talk about them.

The elevator door opened and they stepped inside. Owen felt the need to try and lighten the mood.

"So," he said, "you like Star Wars _and_ Star Trek. I am learning so many new things about you, lately."

"No, no, no, just The Next Generation. I'm a Star Wars girl. Give me Han Solo over Captain Kirk any day."

"Mmm-hmm and where is Captain Picard in all of this?"

"No comment."

Owen laughed and after a moment, Cristina joined in. The elevator door opened and they stepped out.

"Whose idea was it to show it to them anyway?" Cristina asked.

"Well, Heidi doesn't care for the whole Star Trek thing, but Mario is a huge Trekkie and he wanted his kids to be exposed to it. I thought they'd like The Next Generation best."

"Good choice," she said. "So what about you? If you had to choose just one, which would it be Star Wars or Star Trek?"

Owen pretended to think for a moment. "Star Wars."

"Good," Cristina said. "You're not just telling me what I want to hear?"

"Nope. I wanted to be Luke Skywalker when I was a kid. When I got older, I realized Han Solo was the better choice."

"Because he got the girl?"

"Yep."

Cristina let out a laugh that morphed into a huge yawn. Seeing her yawn made Owen have to yawn, too. After he was done, he realized that he as actually completely exhausted. Normally at a time like this, he and Cristina would go crash together in an on-call room for a few hours. He really missed sleeping with her. In the past, even when they were busy all day and barely saw each other, they could usually count on at least being able to sleep together at night. He always felt like he slept better with her curled up next to him.

Just then, they came upon another on-call room. Cristina knocked and upon hearing nothing opened the door. It was empty. She pushed the door all the way open, then leaned on the knob and turned back toward him.

"Well," she said. "This is where I sign off."

Owen nodded. He looked in the room at the empty bed, then glanced at Cristina. His bed at the Palladinos' house seemed a million miles away. Everybody there would be asleep for a few more hours. They'd never know if he stayed a little longer…

Owen took a breath as if to speak, but then released it slowly. He almost asked if she thought they could just sleep together, but thought better of it. He had no doubt that they would fall asleep right away, but they had a habit of having sex in the morning when they were well-rested and he knew it would be extremely difficult to avoid that temptation-especially since it had been so long since they had been together.

He felt Cristina eyeing at him critically. "Were you about to say something?" she said.

Owen paused. That bed was just a few feet away. It was taunting him with its pillows and warm blanket. Cristina standing there gazing up at him with her soulful eyes and full lips and silky skin wasn't helping. "Yes, but I changed my mind."

"Ahh," Cristina said. They stood in awkward silence for a moment. "Are you staying here at the hospital or heading back to the house?"

Owen cleared his throat. "Um, back to the house," he said. "Thanks again for coming to pizza night. I'll look into scheduling that re-match."

"Okay," she said with a smile. "Well, goodnight." She stepped all the way into the room and turned to face him as she closed the door.

"Goodnight," he said. She closed the door the rest of the way, then locked it. Owen let out a huge sigh, then headed to his office.

As he walked, Owen thought about the plan. They needed the plan. The plan was working. It was taking time, but that was to be expected. They were figuring things out and they didn't know what they wanted, yet….and yet, Owen knew with every fiber of his being that he wanted Cristina. He felt like she wanted him, too, but he didn't know what was she going to decide when he decided whether or not he wanted kids. She was making an effort and that had to be enough for now. The plan was good. The plan was working, but if she had asked him to stay in that on call room with her, he would have agreed in a heartbeat.


	8. The Next Morning

Cristina got up around 7:30, straightened herself out enough to round on her patients, then want back the on call room and slept until 10. By that time she was starving, so she went down to the cafeteria to find some breakfast. She was pleased to see that they had put out pumpkin-cranberry muffins for the first time. It was a sign that fall really had arrived. They were a particular favorite of both her and Owen, so she grabbed a couple extra to take to him. If he'd already had some, she would stash them in her locker for later. After she was done with her breakfast, she headed to Owen's office.

She realized she didn't know for sure if he was in, so she stopped by his assistant's desk first.

"Hey, Eileen!" she said. "Is Dr. Hunt in?"

"Yep! He sure is!" Eileen said.

"Wow, you're perky today."

"Well, it's Thursday! I love Thursdays because it's the one day of the week Dr. Hunt doesn't give me a huge pile of papers to file when he comes in."

"Is he still doing that?"

"Yes. I feel like I spend half my time filing all of his cra- paper work."

"Hmmm," Cristina was not pleased to hear this. She had hoped his obsession with baking up and cataloging everything he signed would have died down by now. "Is he in his office?"

"Probably."

Cristina went down to his office and knocked on his door. She didn't hear any response, so she decided go in and leave one of the muffins on his desk. As soon as she opened the door, she froze. He was asleep in his couch. He was on his side half curled up. She closed the door quietly behind her, set one of the muffins on his desk, then stood and watched him sleep.

He didn't look entirely peaceful. His brow was a little furrowed. She wondered if he'd had a bad dream or if something has been troubling him. He had looked so forlorn the night before when she left him standing in the hall outside the on call room. She knew that he wanted to sleep with her- actually sleep with her- but that he knew his desire to sleep with her- metaphorically- would be difficult to control. She missed his touch so much. They hardly ever had any physical contact, and when they did it never went without notice. He had given her a kiss on the cheek the night before when he thanked her for staying behind and it had totally turned her on. She never would have imagined a simple kiss on the cheek could do that to her.

She had fun the night before- more than she thought she would. There were maybe a few awkward moments right after she got there. The older boy barely looked at her at first, but once they had settled in, it was easy. Owen was so good with them and such a natural. It was so cute when he told Tony to sit on his bottom in his chair.

She felt a little bad that she had such a strong reaction to Nick talking about watching Star Trek. She knew that Owen understood and she hoped he hadn't worried about it too much before she had explained. She hadn't wanted to get into it there at the house because she didn't know what would happen. She might have fallen apart and cried her eyes out and disturbed the kids. She definitely would have wanted Owen to hold her and comfort her and she knew where that could have led.

Just then, Owen's face started to move. He was dreaming. She always loved to watch the facial expressions he made while he dreamt. Sometimes, he would even mumble.

It certainly seemed like he was getting used to the rhythm of his life with the kids. He had said that he didn't know what he wanted, yet, but he seemed so comfortable with this life. Except, she suddenly remembered, that he wasn't getting the OR time that he used to. She wondered how long he could keep that up. She, of course, went batty when she was away from the OR for too long. Owen wasn't exactly like her in that regard, but after watching him operate the night before and seeing how much life and fire it infused into him, she was afraid it might be an issue for him eventually.

She watched him sleep for another minute or so. She didn't want to disturb him, but part of her would not have minded if his eyes had fluttered open. Finally, she went ahead and left. She was pretty sure it was totally creepy to watch him sleep for that long, anyway.

Cristina had pushed her morning surgery back to the afternoon, so she spent the rest of her time until lunch catching up on her dictation and reviewing some of the research Shane had done for her stem cell study. It was while she was doing this that she realized she hadn't seen him that morning. She took off looking for him.

She couldn't find him anywhere and eventually ended up in the cafeteria. It was almost noon, so she decided she may as well wait there for Owen. She spotted April and Callie at a table together and went to join them.

"Hey!" she said as she approached them. It looked like April was almost finished eating, but Callie had just started. They both looked tired, no doubt they had been up late the night before, too. "You guys look a little rough around the edges."

They both glared at her. "We're not interns anymore," Callie said. "I actually need sleep to function, now."

"Yeah, you can't reschedule your surgeries when you're a trauma surgeon," April mumbled, glaring in Cristina's general direction.

"Speaking of interns, have either of you seen Dr. Ross?"

"Nope," Callie said.

April closed her eyes. "He ended up…assisting…Dr. Robbins last night, I think. But, then he-"

"Really? How come he didn't work with you?" Cristina said.

"I don't know," April said. "He wasn't around when I went into surgery. What- why do you even ask?"

"You've been working with him a lot lately, that's all."

"He works with you, more."

"I know." Cristina still suspected that Shane might be destined to be a trauma surgeon, so she decided to probe a little and see if April was thinking the same thing. "So, April what's your impression of Dr. Ross?"

April groaned. "I do not like him, okay? He's really nice, he's great with patients, he's a good student, and, yes, okay, sure he's not at all bad looking, but I don't think of him that way. I don't know why he keeps asking to be on my service, but I don't think it's because he's into me, either." April punctuated her statement by angrily stabbing the last bit of lettuce that was on her plate.

Cristina and Callie looked at each other with their eyebrows raised.

"Okay, well, the reason he keeps getting put on your service is because I am putting him there and furthermore, I was asking what your impression of him was as a surgeon." April looked up sheepishly from her plate. "As a surgeon," Cristina repeated.

April's cheeks flushed red. "Well, you could have said that."

"I had no idea you would take it any other way!"

April sat up straighter and gave herself a more business-like air. "As a surgeon?"

"Yes," Cristina said, "and more specifically, do you see him ending up as a trauma surgeon."

April stared down at her plate as she thought for a minute. "I don't think so," she finally said. "He's good, really good, in fact, but he tends to be a little bit too…meticulous. Time is of the essence in trauma and sometimes you have to do what works quickly rather than taking the time to make it pretty, if that makes sense." Cristina and Callie nodded. "I don't think he has a natural instinct for that."

"Okay," Cristina said. Shane's attention to detail was one of the things she appreciated about his work, but she could see where it could be a detriment at times.

"Also, I don't think he is enough of a team player."

"Really?" Cristina was surprised to hear that.

"Well, he's got a fierce competitive streak and sometimes it seems like he would rather prove he can do something himself than give someone else the chance- even when it would be in everyone's best interest."

"Hmm." It seemed that she may have been wrong about Shane, after all. For her part, she appreciated his competitiveness because it drove him to go above and beyond in learning new skills. It was one of the things she enjoyed about working with him.

"Is that why you keep putting him on my service? Because you think he might be a trauma surgeon?"

"Well, yeah. All his life he dreamed of being a neurosurgeon, and since Derek shot him down on that, I thought maybe trauma could be his new thing."

April shook her head. "And by the way, before you interrupted me, I was going to say that Dr, Hunt sent Shane home this morning when he saw how many hours he had worked so far this week. He won't be back until tomorrow."

"Okay, thanks."

April piled all of her empty lunch stuff and trash back onto her tray. "I'll see you guys later," she said as she got up to leave.

"Okay," Callie and Cristina said in unison.

"What was that all about?" Cristina said when April was out of earshot.

"Huh?" Callie said, just before taking a bite of her sandwich.

"All that stuff about how she doesn't see Shane 'that way'? I mean is she denying it because she is in denial or is it really not true?"

Callie swallowed her bite. "Well, it's probably not true, but there have been rumors."

"Really?" Cristina was intrigued. Since Meredith was on leave and she always ate with Owen, she suddenly realized she was behind on all the juicy gossip.

"Well, she's on the market, again."

"She is? Wait, I thought she was engaged!" April's engagement was not something easily forgotten after the spectacle it had been.

"He broke it off when he realized she was still into Jackson."

"No!"

"Yes! And then she tried to get back with Jackson, but he turned her down because he felt like she had jerked him around. Oh yeah, and because he's dating that resident."

"Wow." Cristina shook her head. Who knew sweet little April was capable of such drama?

"So anyway, there have been rumors floating around that there's something going on between her and Shane and they must have gotten back to her somehow. Through Alex, probably, I'm pretty sure he's the one that started them."

Cristina laughed. "Why would he do that?"

"Because he loves getting her goat. It's driving Jackson crazy, too."

"That's horrible!" Cristina had laughed so hard she had tears in her eyes. "I can't believe I haven't heard any of this! Where have I been?"

"Over in the corner with Owen- not that that has excluded you from the rumor mill."

"Excuse me?" Cristina suddenly turned serious.

"Relax," Callie said. "Some people just think Shane has a crush on you because you two are together so much. I don't think they think you're into him."

"You don't _think_ they think that?"

Callie shrugged. "I mean, someone in this hospital probably does, but I wouldn't worry about it."

Cristina rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, I won't." Even if it did get back to Owen, he would know it was pure rumor. "Speaking of Owen, I saw you up in the gallery for awhile last night."

"Yes, the whole hospital was buzzing about it. I had to see it for myself!"

"He was on fire, wasn't he? I don't think he made a single wrong move," Cristina said proudly. "What was the buzz about?"

"Owen being in the OR was enough! It's pretty rare these days."

"Yeah, it is," Cristina said, frowning.

"Turns out a lot of the new intern class had never seen him operate before. Some of them didn't even know what his specialty was."

"That's horrible! I knew he wasn't operating much, but I didn't think it was that bad!"

"He goes down to the ER often enough, but he rarely takes a surgery himself. He just assesses and assigns the cases. I was surprised to hear that he took one last night."

"It's not right. It just isn't right."

"What does he do in there all day?"

"Budgets and paperwork- he still obsesses about everything he signs because of the plane crash."

"I thought he was moving on from that."

"He was. Oh, and that medical supply research. That presentation he did a while back was only the first half."

"Oh, crap."

"I know."

"But, I mean, it must be partly because he is taking care of those kids, too right?"

"Yes," Cristina sighed.

"Well," Callie said, leaning forward, "one of the crazier rumors floating around is that he got an office and stays in it all the time because something horrible happened to him during the storm, like he got electrocuted, too, or something, but he's keeping it under wraps."

Cristina looked down at her hands.

"Oh! Oh, god, I didn't mean- I know you guys broke up that night, but-"

Cristina held up her hand and shook her head. "We broke up, but I did not break him."

"Of course you didn't." Callie didn't know exactly why they had broken up. At least, Cristina hadn't told her.

"I've got to go talk to him." Cristina sprang from her chair and headed toward Owen's office. He was due to meet her in the cafeteria about 10 minutes, but she didn't think this conversation should be held in public.

She did not break him, but she was going to do what she could to fix him. She marched up to his office door and knocked on it.

"Come in!" Owen said from within. She opened the door. Owen was sitting at his desk, surrounded by papers as usual. He looked tired. "Am I late?" He pulled up his sleeve to look at his watch.

"No, no you're not. I just wanted to talk to you, um, in private."

"Okay." Owen stacked up a few things, then gave her his full attention. She sat in the chair across his desk from him.

"I know I said this last night, but I wanted to tell you again that you were really amazing in surgery last night," she said.

Owen ducked his head and smiled modestly. "It was- I was just doing my job."

"Exactly. Exactly, that's right! You are a surgeon and you've barely been doing any surgery lately."

"I am the _Chief_ of Surgery. Surgery is only part of my job. I have a lot of other things to do."

"I know, it just... seems out of balance lately. This is a teaching hospital and we've got an intern class that has been here for a month and a lot of them saw you operate for the first time last night!"

"I teach," Owen said a bit defensively. "I teach every day."

"In the OR?"

Owen rubbed his eyes. "Cristina, please, just-"

"I'm worried about you! Last night in the OR you were- you were on fire and you had color in your cheeks and you can't tell me that it didn't feel good to jump in and do that surgery."

Owen nodded. "It did," he said. Then, he dropped his eyes and started shaking his head.

"Is something wrong, Owen?" He kept looking down. "Did something happen with the kids?" She felt a pang off fear.

"Kind of." He glanced up at her and must have read the concern on her face. "They're…they're okay."

"Please tell me what happened." He was starting to freak her out.

Owen sighed. "Tony woke up during the night last night and he noticed that I was gone. He looked in my room and he saw someone in my bed that wasn't me and he was terrified. It took my mom almost an hour to get him back to sleep."

"Oh, no."

"He was…out of sorts this morning. He was grumpy and clingy. I would have kept him home from school if he hadn't perked up after breakfast."

"Owen, this wasn't your fault. You didn't know he would miss you."

"I know."

"You can't beat yourself up about this." The last thing Owen needed was something else to feel guilty about.

"I know," he said, firmly. "I know, but this just happened a few hours ago. Can I have a little time?"

"Of course you can," Cristina said, sitting back in her chair.

Owen rubbed his eyes, "I'm sorry for- if that sounded like I was snapping at you, I just heard the same things from my mom all morning."

"It's okay, Owen." As they sat in silence for a moment, it occurred to her that something didn't add up. "Tony knows your mom, right?"

"Yes, she's helped out with them a couple of times."

"Why do you think he got so scared?"

Owen was quiet for a long moment. "My mom said it was because he misses his mom. We've been fine, we've been- I thought everything was fine, but this whole situation has been stressful for him and I guess it's been building up."

"His mom will be back for the weekend tomorrow, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, that will help."

"It will. I just wished I had noticed sooner so we could have avoided this."

Cristina thought about when she was a kid. After her dad died, she was a basket case. She barely slept or ate and she cried all the time. One night after about 3 weeks, she overhead her mom and Saul talking about taking her to a counselor or to a psychiatrist to get her drugs to take. It spooked her, so the next day she started acting normal. Her mom and Saul were so happy that they never questioned it. She became quite skilled at pushing aside her feelings.

"Well, now that you know, you can help," she said. "You've got to talk about it. It's not healthy for kids to bottle things like that up."

"Okay," Owen said, cocking his head to one side. It was the look he always gave when he was curious and wanted to delve deeper into a topic. She wanted to keep the focus on him, for now.

"But," she said, "you've also got to spend more time in the OR."

Owen shook his head. "Not right now. I've got too many other things to do and the kids- I've been doing fine up to now with how I'm managing my time."

"You are a surgeon. You've got to use those skills! They're a part of you! You need more balance."

"I'm not like you, Cristina. I don't have to operate. I'm balancing more than I ever have before and this is how it has to be, right now"

Cristina sighed. He had over two months left with the kids. She didn't know if he could, or should keep up this current routine for that long.

"You would have more time for surgery if you spent less time on paperwork," she said quietly. She watched Owen closely to see how he would react. He was staring down at his desk, but she could tell he had tensed up. She didn't want to tell him what to do, especially not when he was already upset about something else. She chose her words carefully. "What I mean is, you are doing a lot of things for other people right now because you care and you want to protect them. I just want to make sure you're getting what you need, too."

Owen cracked half a smile, then went back to staring down at his desk. The tension was gone, but he still looked dejected. After a few moments, Cristina had to break the silence.

"What are you thinking about?"

"How to get Tony to trust me again."

Cristina sat up straight and leaned as far over the desk as she could. "Okay, so here's what's going to happen: Tonight when you put Tony to bed, he's going to ask you if you are going to leave during the night. You are going to say that you don't know, but if for some reason you have to, your mom or Cristina will be there. He'll ask you again tomorrow night and the next night and the next night after that for who knows how long, but one day he'll stop. He's going to be fine. We're all going to be fine."

"Would you really do that? Would you stay with them?"

"Sure. If I wasn't on call and you didn't need me at the hospital."

Owen closed his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest.

"Can I hug you?" Cristina asked after a long moment.

Owen lifted his head. His eyes were red, but he smiled at her and nodded.

They both stood up and met at the side of the desk. Owen enveloped her in his arms and she rested her head on his chest. He had done the same for her when she had been upset on Saturday and the hug he had given her had helped immensely.

She knew the hurt he was feeling about what had happened was fresh and that it would fade over the next few days, but she found herself desperately wanting to kiss away his worries.

"What if we put the plan on hold for five minutes?"

"Hmm?"

Cristina pulled back and took his face in her hands. As she ran her fingertips over his stubble, she started to feel turned on. After a moment, she saw a flicker of recognition in Owen's eyes. He really was adorable when he was slow. He smiled broadly and pulled her a little closer, but then his smile faded. "Are you sure?" he asked.

When she looked up into his eyes, she knew it wasn't a small question. They had been in a kind of state of limbo. They still had work to do and she couldn't proceed with this if she didn't think that they would figure it out. In that moment, it struck her that she couldn't imagine her life without him, and not figuring it out wasn't an option. "I'm sure," she said.

"Okay," Owen said with a smile. Cristina knew she had an equally silly grin on her face. "So, that was five minutes, right?" he said with a sparkle in his eye.

"Hmm, I'm not sure…" She snaked her arms up around his neck and pressed her lips against his for a moment before deepening the kiss. When she finally pulled back, she said, "Maybe it was ten minutes?"

As soon as she had released his lips, they had gone straight to her neck. "Mmm, maybe 15," he mumbled. She felt his hands start to move over her body as he sucked gently on her neck.

She started unbuttoning his shirt and backing up toward the couch.

"or 20…"


End file.
